


A New York State of Mind

by hatakelynx, JadedLynx



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Writer & Photographer, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24587518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatakelynx/pseuds/hatakelynx, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadedLynx/pseuds/JadedLynx
Summary: Famed author Ash Lynx is struck down by writer’s block and has never felt less inspired. International student Eiji Okumura is desperate for a good grade on his assignment. Inspiration isn’t the only thing that blossoms when these two lonely souls cross paths.A mixed Ash/Eiji POV fic that ticks every box (and then some) for wholesome AshEiji fluff.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Lee Yut-Lung/Sing Soo-Ling
Comments: 88
Kudos: 266
Collections: Banana Fish Reverse Big Bang, Work's I've Finished





	1. The Lynx and the Squirrel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Balvana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Balvana/gifts).



> We hope you enjoy our fic for the 2020 Banana Fish Reverse Big Bang as much as we enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> Our story is inspired by Balvana's beautiful artwork of Ash and Eiji, [available to view here](https://imgur.com/a/BMDHyuF)
> 
> We would also like to thank our wonderful beta Sock (src), thank you so much for all your hard work!

It wasn’t often that the internationally acclaimed author Ash Lynx stared at a blank piece of paper without gifting it with his prose. However, today, each word he penned looked foreign, as though it existed as a lone entity rather than as a cohesive part of a sentence. 

_What is wrong with me?_

Frustration itched under his skin as he scribbled out yet another unsatisfactory attempt, ignoring the sideways glance another library patron shot him when he exhaled a bit too loudly, his exasperation getting the better of him. The Rose Reading Room in the New York Public Library had always provided Ash with the solace he so desperately craved; a sanctuary hidden away from the bustling streets of New York City, which threatened to swallow up even the most street-smart of its inhabitants. He’d written some of his best works there, time slipping away as his pen danced furiously across the pages of his notebook, barely fast enough to keep up with his thoughts. 

Today, however, Ash found himself in an increasingly common situation. He glared at his empty notebook, and his empty notebook glared right back. He’d tried to push through earlier, forcing himself to write even if it wasn’t up to his usual standards - however, the mere thought of showing this abysmal attempt to Max was enough to make his stomach twist with shame.

He’d been there for over five hours, watching people come and go as they pleased, the corners of their lips pulled into self-satisfied grins as they finished whatever project they were working on. Ash had never taken much notice of others in the library before, let alone cared what they thought about him, but seeing them succeed while he struggled to produce even one decent paragraph filled him with dread. 

He didn’t know what irritated him more - the blank pages of his notebook that should have been filled with words, or the unsatisfactory sentences that he’d scribbled out in a fury with heavy black ink. Ash sighed as he glanced around the room, his frustration with himself threatening to boil over as he observed the other patrons busily working on their own projects. Right on cue, his phone vibrated.  
  


From: Max  
_Book review in. Come by my office in the next 15 mins._

_Max  
  
_

_He doesn’t need to sign off his text messages, to me of all people, with his goddamn name,_ Ash thought as he gathered his belongings and made his way through the library to the exit. The autumn air was crisp, just cool enough to make Ash pause to wrap his scarf a little bit tighter around his neck, before continuing on his way to his publisher’s office.  
  


_… Lynx’s latest novel, A Perfect Day, is a testament to the 23-year-old’s newly founded literary career. His depiction of New York City gang life is unsettlingly realistic, and positions readers to feel as though they too are surviving in an atmosphere of violence and criminal activity, which…  
  
_

Ash sighed, uninterested, eyes skimming lazily over yet another glowing _New York Times_ book review. He’d remained silent ever since he’d sat down in Max’s office, eyes trained on the black and white newsprint his publisher had pushed under his nose. Praise for Ash’s work only further quashed any motivation he had to produce another novel. It was like these people knew exactly what to write in order to grate at his nerves. He continued to read, glasses sliding down to rest on the tip of his nose.   
  


_Unfortunately, Lynx has once again rejected our request for an interview, nor has he provided any information on any future works._

Ash could practically feel his publisher’s blood pressure rising. The offending paragraph was circled, accentuated by an angry red asterisk. Max’s mouth was drawn into a tight line, and the atmosphere in his office was heavy with frustration. Ash knew he was only moments away from getting absolutely reemed. 

_Any second now…_

Max swallowed and drew a shallow breath. “Ash.”

_Here we go._

“I’m not in the mood for this right now old man.”

 _“You’re never in the goddamn mood for anything Ash!”_ Max exclaimed, thumb and index finger pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation. “I’m here to help and support you, but you’ve gotta to at least _try_! Y’can’t just-”

“No, Max. _You_ can’t just tell the fucking _New York Times_ that I’d ‘ _love_ to do an interview’,” Ash shot back, fingers making crude air-quotations at Max’s assumption. “I’ve told you time and time again - I’m not interested in talking with these people. They'd just twist my words in whatever way they want to suit their agenda and satisfy their readers. Fuck that.”  
  
“That may be so, but Ash, like it or not, you- _we need_ these people, shitty ones included. _They_ are the ones who can make or break your career. And if you continue to stand them up like this, it’s not just you, it’s _both_ of our asses that are on the line.” 

Max really did sound defeated, and Ash hated to admit that he felt guilty about it. If it hadn’t been for Max’s support and unwavering enthusiasm for Ash’s writing, Ash would still be working his ass off in some run-down cafe for $11 an hour. He cringed at the thought.

“I know.”

“Then why are you acting like this? Talk to me, Ash. I wanna help.”

Ash wasn’t in the mood to be lectured, and he was even less in the mood to be parented. He half contemplated just getting up and walking out of Max’s office and leaving him there, mouth hanging open like an idiot. But something within him told him to stay. Maybe he really had given up on everything. 

Max looked over the frames of his glasses, fingers laced under his chin in anticipation for Ash’s response. 

_It’s probably easier just to tell him rather than to punch him in the face._

Ash inhaled, resenting the way his lungs quivered as they filled with air. “I can’t write.” He wanted to bite back the words as soon as they left his mouth. 

Max’s eyes widened, disbelief painting his features. “You can’t write?” 

“No.”

“What do you mean, you ‘can’t’ write?” The line between Max’s eyebrows deepened as the gravity of the situation began to set in. “Is it something to do with the plot? The pacing? If you let me look at what you’ve done so far I can give you some feedba-”

“No, Max.” Ash groaned, plunging his hands into his pockets. He knew admitting to Max that he was struggling was a mistake. Although Max had the best of intentions by offering to help, not being able to write was a problem Ash needed to shoulder alone. “I’ve got nothing.”

Max sighed and removed his glasses, rubbing the lenses with his shirt. He always did this when he was thinking, as though the act of cleaning his glasses would help him find a solution to whatever problem he was facing. “Are we talking about writer’s block here?”

“No. Yes. Maybe, I don’t know!” Ash hid his face in his hands because _fuck_ , he really didn’t know, and it was starting to get annoying. “I didn’t even have to _think_ about it before - for _A Perfect Day_ the words just came to me effortlessly. But now…” Ash stopped, slowly resting his hands back on his thighs. He took a deep breath in, but didn’t go on.

“Now what?” Max asked, but softly, as if he was trying to soothe a strayed cat and was afraid of it fleeing away. 

“It’s only been two months, Max. My first novel was published _two months ago_ , and everyone is already wondering when the new one will be released, and how it could be even better, and - _fuck that_ , you know damn well I didn’t write _A Perfect Day_ for the praise, but these people are insatiable. I’m being watched and I hate it and now I just don’t feel like writing anything _at all_!” 

This confession left him a bit breathless, which made him realize that he had literally rattled off. 

Max let out a huge, desperate sigh. “As your friend, I’m worried about you and I’d like to tell you to take some time off. Go on a vacation or something. But as your publisher…”

“I know, I know.” 

The both of them fell silent. Ash had to admit, he did feel at least somewhat relieved after opening up about his struggle. And for him, opening up was already a _huge_ step. 

“Listen, I may be able to buy you some more time regarding the first drafts you’re supposed to present soon. Why don’t you take a few days off? Do NOT leave the city, though,” Max warned him, holding up his finger right under Ash’s nose. “It’s fall, after all. The weather is still good, the colors are changing, maybe you can take a walk in the park or - I don’t know! Do something casual and be inspired by it!” 

Ash laughed, and he wanted it to be scornful but it was actually genuine. _“Do something casual and be inspired by it”_ \- Max was going to be the death of him, all right. 

He left the building, hands in the pockets of his long, cream-coloured coat. _A few days off, huh._ He had been brooding on his incapacity to write anything for weeks, now. Maybe that was it. Maybe he just had to _not_ think about it for a few days. 

But how the hell was anyone supposed to stop thinking exactly? 

*** * ***

It was dusk, and Bryant Park was unusually peaceful. The last of the day’s sunlight, warm and golden like honey, cast a magical kind of tranquility over the reserve. Eiji crouched, finger resting on the shutter release button of his camera as his other hand steadied the oversized lens. _Perfect lighting for taking photographs._

The theme of his university assignment this week was _Autumn_ , and New York City had gifted Eiji with more autumnal imagery than he knew what to do with. Eiji had long believed that compared to Japan, everything was bigger and better in America - from the cars people drove to the ridiculously large fast food portions. Even the seasons seemed to be intent on showing the Japanese boy that The Big Apple was truly an experience to behold. 

Eiji inhaled slowly and readied his camera. He’d been hoping to catch a squirrel in its natural habitat, fumbling for acorns in the dead leaves. As the sun sunk further into the horizon, its rays all but set fire to the tree leaves, accentuating the autumn hues as they glowed against the sky.

Eiji was mostly used to photographing landscapes and people which, he realized, were easier to photograph than animals. At least trees and portrait models were far less likely to run away in the middle of a photoshoot. 

He was about to let out a deep sigh when suddenly, a shiny ginger squirrel appeared and started to dig around in the grass and leaves. Determined not to let this new opportunity slip away, Eiji lay down in the grass, mentally praying for the squirrel to not notice him. He probably looked like a madman out here, but he didn’t care. The artist in him was just taking over. 

Stretching his arm as much as possible, he zoomed in, stabilizing the camera with his other hand. Tongue pressed between his teeth, he pushed the button and… the squirrel took off as the sound of footsteps and clothes rustling broke the peaceful silence of the scene. This time, it was not only a sigh but a _whine_ that Eiji let out. Resting his forehead in the grass, he decided that he’d had enough for today and should just go home.

Eiji lifted his head and was about to pick himself up off the ground, but froze. A movement to his right caught his eye. The interruption had actually come from a tall, blond man, who took a seat on a bench opposite to the bushes, just a few meters away. He was wearing round glasses and looking down at something - _a notepad?_

 _I’ve seen this person before._ The man’s longish blond hair, glasses, the expensive cream coloured coat... _yes, that was it_. This guy had caught Eiji’s attention in the Rose Reading Room earlier. 

The man looked restless, scribbling on his notepad and biting his pen cap every ten seconds - _what a bad habit_. Eiji realized that the warm colours of the man’s clothing matched perfectly with the autumn setting of the park. Turning his camera on again, Eiji readjusted himself and tried to ignore the small voice in his head whispering that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

Eiji didn’t take the picture right away, though. He actually had no idea how long he’d waited - he only realized that it must have been a few minutes already when his arm started to cramp up. Suddenly, his subject threw down his notepad in what appeared to be a fit of anger. Eiji startled at the unexpected movement but quickly came back to his senses as the man removed his round glasses, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked completely defeated. Storing his glasses away, he got up, picked up his notepad and froze. 

For a second, Eiji thought he had been busted. Deep, hard emerald eyes were piercing the horizon, contemplating. But the blond man was looking way over Eiji’s head, as if time had stopped. At this exact moment, a ray of sunshine shed light on his golden hair and before even thinking, Eiji pressed the button of his camera. Once. Twice. 

The spell was broken when the man’s phone rang - he jumped and took it out of his pocket before groaning.

“What?” his voice almost echoed in the ambient silence, and he walked away. 

Later that night, Eiji worked on processing his pictures. While the majority of his images were unwanted action shots of squirrel’s tails or blurry forms escaping the frame, Eiji found himself thinking about the man he’d photographed. It wasn’t just his appearance that had captivated Eiji; but it was the look of absolute defeat on his face as he rose and stared into the distance. Eiji felt his heart clench as he opened up the image in Photoshop. 

If he hadn’t had so much bad luck with photographing the squirrels, Eiji almost would have felt guilty for the unabashed pride that swelled in his chest upon looking at the photograph. The composition was excellent and the _colours!_ He had perfectly captured the essence of Autumn, from the warm yellows to deep reds, without forgetting orange in the middle. The focal point of the photograph however, was the blond man. Eiji hadn’t even realized that ten minutes had passed as he stared at the solitary figure in his photograph. 

He felt empty. He’d never seen anybody look so utterly alone before. It was then that Eiji knew which photograph to submit for his autumn assignment. Something inside him was telling him that he might even get his highest mark ever. 

Eager to share his shot, Eiji logged on his Instagram account. He had started his page as an “amateur” photographer, under the alias @ei-chan. His profile mostly consisted of landscapes shots, portraits and some pictures of random people he had asked to photograph in the middle of the street. Before uploading it, he realized that this time, he was clearly about to publish a stolen picture. The guy hadn’t been aware of Eiji’s presence and even worse - Eiji hadn’t asked for his permission. 

The Japanese boy bit his lip, thinking. Scrolling back through his shots, he opted for the one in which the man was pulling the phone out of his pocket.

_He’s looking down on this one. I can barely see his face. What are the chances that anyone will recognize him? It’s not like I have thousands of followers either..._

He still decided to text Ibe, his mentor, to ask his opinion about the shot. Eiji attached the photo and started to write.

_  
EIJI: Hi Ibe! Question for my favorite mentor ever: I took this shot earlier today but I don’t have the person’s authorization for it… I still wanted to share it on my page but I don’t want to risk anything. What do you think?_

Minutes later, Eiji’s phone vibrated. 

_IBE: Hi Ei-chan! Sounds fine to me. Even zooming in, I can’t make out his features…My take is that you can publish it in all legality ;-)_

Relieved by his instructor’s answer, he uploaded the picture with the caption “Autumn turmoil - NYC, Sept 29th”. 

Eiji knew he was going to get a good mark on this assignment.


	2. The Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Balvana's beautiful [artwork](https://imgur.com/a/BMDHyuF)

If Ash had fallen asleep in a bad mood, he was even in a worse state of mind when he was unceremoniously woken up by a loud banging on his door.

“Ash, let me in, it’s urgent,” Max demanded, his fist pounding against the flimsy wood of Ash’s apartment door.   
  
_He has got to be fucking joking._

“Go away _,”_ Ash spat, retreating even further under his sheets, head throbbing with exhaustion. He hadn’t even looked at the time on his phone yet, but any hour before midday was far too early to be getting out of bed.

Max continued to thrash against Ash’s door, unwilling to relent, despite Ash’s threats. Ash couldn’t stand it anymore. Ripping off the covers as though he were removing a bandaid, he marched towards the door, flinging it open with so much force that even Max was surprised. 

_“ What_ _?”_ Ash gripped the door frame, his nails digging into the wood.

Max’s complete dismissal of Ash’s irritation only further ignited the rage within him.

“Ash I need you to stay calm-”  
  
“ _Then why the hell did you wake me up so fucking early_?!” 

“Sit down,” Max pushed past Ash and walked towards the kitchen, “I’ll make us some coffee.”

Too tired to argue further, Ash slumped over the kitchen table, the heel of his hand pressed against his forehead in an attempt to ward off the headache that had started to pulse behind his right eye. He considered pretending to ignore the steaming cup of coffee Max set down in front of him, until the bitter yet comforting aroma started to ease the tension building in his head. He took a reluctant sip and lifted his gaze to Max.

“I’m sorry Ash,” Max started, rummaging around in his messenger bag, “But you had to see this. I didn’t want you to find out any other way.” Max pushed a magazine towards him. 

“What are you-” Ash’s words caught in his throat.

**_WRITER’S BLOCK OR BREAKUP?:_ **

**_EXCLUSIVE REPORT ON AUTHOR ASH LYNX_ **

There he was on the cover of _US Weekly_ , notebook in hand, staring down at his feet. Ash looked like the very _definition_ of a melancholic writer. He barely even noticed Max’s babbling over the rush of blood in his ears. 

“...and I’m in the process of contacting-”

“Oh no,” Ash murmured, his calmness somehow even more terrifying than the explosion of anger Max had been anticipating. “That won’t be necessary. I already know what I’m doing.”

Before Max could open his mouth again and lecture Ash about whatever he thought the young writer was going to do, Ash tapped the corner of the magazine cover.

“@ei-chan,” he said, eyes hovering on the pixelated Instagram handle in the corner of the photograph. “I’m going to message them now.” Ash grabbed his phone off the table, taking time to enter his passcode.

“That’s a long combination of numbers...got something to hide on there eh Ash?” Max smirked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Shut up.”

It didn’t take Ash long to find this _ei-chan’s_ account, but it certainly wasn’t what he had been expecting. 

_25 / Photography Major / JP --- > USA _

_Wait. A Japanese exchange student?_

There were no pictures of ‘ei-chan’ themself on the account, however the images of landscapes and portraits were intriguing. The photographs were simple; there was no trace of overly-technical editing or pretentious photography techniques. The raw and unfiltered honesty to the images captivated Ash. 

Max remained quiet as Ash scrolled through ei-chan’s account, his anger dissipating until he located the offending photograph of him that had prompted this investigation. 

“I’m messaging ei-chan,” Ash announced, a small part of him enjoying Max’s terrified expression.

“Just- just don’t say anything that’ll get you in trouble later,” Max whined, the lines at the corners of his eyes deepening as he recalled what Ash assumed to be another one of his outbursts. “Just be-”

“I know, I know. Calm down, old man.”

Ash opened up a new message window and began to type.

_Hi,_

_Your photograph of me ended up on the cover of US Weekly._

_The image was taken and used without my consent._

_I am awaiting your explanation._

_\- Ash_

He hit ‘send.’ 

*** * ***

“Why do these kinds of embarrassing things _always_ happen to me?!” Eiji whined. He’d barely touched the drink his exchange mentor, Sing, had bought for him. He felt a pang of guilt in his stomach. “What are the chances?!” 

“Guess you’re really just a _very_ unlucky person,” Sing laughed, although his eyes were sympathetic. 

Eiji let out a groan, but he mostly wanted to punch himself. Thank _god_ he had deactivated the read receipts on his Instagram account. He stared at the message he’d received the previous day from this @aslanjc someone. Eiji hadn’t even realized that he had a message request until today. And God, it was bad. _Very_ bad. 

Eiji took a sip of his lukewarm drink. “So, this Aslan guy…”

“He goes by the name Ash Lynx,” Sing corrected him.

“Yeah, well, this Ash Lynx person…is he…” Eiji let the rest of his question hang silently in the air. 

“He’s pretty famous,” Sing started. “I think he published some book not too long ago, and he’s been featured in almost every magazine as a ‘young genius’ or something ever since.” The sly grin that tugged at the corners of Sing’s mouth sent another wave of anxiety through Eiji. “He’s also hot.” 

Hearing that, Eiji groaned again. “But how was _I_ supposed to know about him! I only arrived in America at the end of summer…”

“Ahhh, you couldn’t have! I told you Eiji, you’re just a _very_ unlucky person!” 

Eiji read the text once again and shivered. “ _I am awaiting your explanation.”_ That one sentence carried so much cold formality. _God_. Eiji felt his face getting hotter from the embarrassment. He had seriously messed up. 

_I have to do something about it_ , he thought to himself. 

“Hey, Sing, do you happen to know the title of this guy’s book?” Eiji asked, eyes flickering away from his phone. 

“Don’t remember the last time I read a book, honestly,” Sing smirked as he played with his straw. “But it won’t be too hard to find out.” The younger boy took his phone out of his pocket and typed something. A few seconds later, he handed the device to Eiji.

 **_A Perfect Day_ ** **, a novel by the young prodigy Ash Lynx**

**Published by Glenreed Publishers, and endorsed by Max Lobo.**

“Thanks, Sing!” Eiji exclaimed before grabbing his bag and running outside.

“Hey! Where the hell are you going?!” Sing got up and yelled at the other boy, taken by surprise by this sudden rush. 

“I’ll text you later!” 

Sing sighed. He really had to stop agreeing to take care of international students. They always brought their share of trouble somehow. 

After an incredibly long walk - he should have taken the subway, - Eiji checked his phone for the third time that minute and stared at the building again. Glenreed Publishers was absolutely _huge,_ but he wouldn’t have expected any less from a building standing in the middle of Broadway. Even still, Eiji checked once more, just to be sure.

_What the hell am I doing…_

Eiji shook his head to avoid losing his nerve after coming this far. He took a deep breath before taking a step forward and finally pushing open the door of office.

The main hall looked so vast that Eiji almost wondered if someone could get lost in a _building_. As he wandered around, dizzy from the gigantic proportions of the place, he ended up facing three elevator doors. There were a lot of engraved metal plates between each of these elevators - and eventually, Eiji found the one he was looking for. 

_“Glenreed Publishers - 22nd floor”_

He got into the first elevator that came down and pushed the button leading to the 22nd floor. For a second, Eiji couldn’t tell if it was the light jolt of the elevator stopping that suddenly made him nauseous, or just the fact that he was about to face one of the biggest mistakes of his life. 

At last, the elevator voice announced “22nd floor, Glenreed Publishers.” Eiji sighed and got out, silently praying to every Japanese God he could think of to support him in this embarrassing moment. 

The second Eiji’s eyes adjusted to the warm yellow spotlights illuminating the reception office, he once again felt as though he’d arrived on a completely different planet. He stared at his feet in wonder, noticing how his footsteps were muffled by thick, bright red carpet. The reception desk was entirely made of glass, with only the red logo of Glenreed Publishers painted on the front. It was currently unmanned, thank goodness, so he at least had a few more seconds to adjust to the sheer luminosity of the place. Ferns and flowers adorned each corner _,_ the lush green of each plant softening the hard opulence of the decor within the reception area.

Eiji hadn’t been prepared for this _at all_ . He had expected to find a relatively plain and neutral floor, with normal offices and a serious atmosphere but this… _this_ looked more like a palace.

Not resisting any longer, he checked again to see if the receptionist had returned to the main desk.

 _A_ _ll clear._

Feeling his heartbeat pulsing in his throat, Eiji removed his camera from his bag. The lens he’d attached today was the smallest in his collection; compact enough to carry around without weighing him down too much. He knew he probably shouldn’t do this, but the explosion of colours and textures in the office were far too enticing for his artistic side to ignore. 

“Hey, what are you doing young man?” 

Eiji took a while before realizing the feminine voice was addressing _him_. 

“Eh? Me?!” he asked, turning to her, pointing his finger at his own face, camera resting in his other hand. 

“Well, who else?” the woman replied, rolling her eyes. “Are you a tourist or something? Those offices aren’t open to the public. You should leave.”

“Ah!” Eiji scratched the back of his neck, feeling his face getting redder from the sheer volume of embarrassment falling upon him once again. “No, actually, I…I’m here to see Max Lobo?” he asked hesitantly, hoping he’d remembered the name correctly. 

“Max?” the receptionist asked again, frowning and clearly skeptical. “What kind of business does a kid like you have with Max?” 

Anger forced Eiji to return to his senses. He was 25, for god’s sake, not 15. He needed to get a hold of himself before he got kicked out. “I’m here to talk about him about an important matter regarding Ash Lynx.” Eiji blurted. 

“Oh,” the woman eyed his camera. “I think I know what this is about.”

  
  


*** * ***

Ash turned the page of the magazine he was pretending to read with slightly more force than was necessary. The flimsy paper tore between his fingertips as he cursed Max yet again for making him wait in the lobby for 25 whole minutes. His irritation had increased with every passing second, until the sound of his name snapped Ash back into reality. 

He looked up to see what looked like a teenager, probably begging for their book to be published, no doubt, having a polite yet strained exchange with the woman at the reception desk. 

“...-just really need to talk to him! Please, it is very important to me. I owe him an apology.” The boy’s knuckles were white against the strap of his backpack as he clasped a DSLR camera in his hands. Ash frowned as he put together what was unfolding in front of him.

_This has to be ei-chan._

Ash rose and walked over to him, silent yet exuding the trademark arrogance that Max berated him for unleashing on unsuspecting members of the public. This kid was about to learn his lesson the hard way.

“So, ‘ _ei-chan_ ’,” Ash felt the boy jolt as he stood behind him. “Shall we discuss payments for damages? I’d rather settle this mutually than sue you.” Ash’s voice was like velvet and glass - irresistibly smooth yet fraught with danger. There was no way this little brat was getting out of tarnishing Ash’s reputation unscathed. 

The venomous smile Ash had plastered on his face immediately dropped when the boy in front of him turned around to meet his gaze. Ash had never seen somebody look so calm in the face of terror. 

“Mr. Lynx.” 

Ash almost laughed. God that sounded stupid. But ei-chan looked so determined, Ash couldn’t help but be taken slightly aback by his sincerity. 

“Ash is fine,” he offered, choosing to ignore Max’s booming laughter as he walked through the corridor, chatting with his colleague. 

“My name is Eiji Okumura. I’m an international student from Japan,” the boy started again. “There has been a terrible mistake. I am so, so sorry, my photograph of you was stolen from my Instagram page by a magazine. I had no idea.”

“I see,” Ash frowned, unconvinced. “You still took it without me knowing though.” 

“I know _,_ ” Eiji’s voice was soft, his eyes downcast. “That was very wrong of me. I am so sorry. I’ve never done anything like that before, it’s really not like me...I didn’t think it would end up like this. I feel terrible.” 

Ash wasn’t really listening at this point, he was more interested in the way that the yellow office lighting seemed to capture hidden hues of colour in the other boy’s eyes. Flecks of amber and chestnut. He’d never seen such dark eyes before. They were so different to his own-

“Ash!” Ash nearly bumped into ei-chan from the sheer force of Max slapping him on the back. “Is this our infamous photographer friend?” 

Eiji turned an even darker shade of red at Max’s nickname for him. How Ash resisted the urge to strangle his publisher at this point was still a mystery to him. Even though Ash’s irritation had returned, why did his cheeks feel abnormally hot?

  
“We’re in the process of discussing my compensation,” Ash muttered, arms folded across his chest. Eiji’s eyes once again widened. Ash felt his stomach twist at the other boy’s reaction. 

“Compensation?” Max laughed, shooting Eiji an apologetic smile. “Ash, this poor kid’s an international student, he’s got enough on his plate without worrying about you.”

“Whatever.” Deep down, Ash hadn’t _actually_ wanted any money in return for his image being used. He’d just wanted to shake up whoever took and sold the photo enough to make sure that they never crossed him again. However, this whole situation wasn’t _at all_ what Ash had been expecting, and Max’s presence seemed to make Ash feel ten times more uncomfortable. 

“Hey, I’ve contacted the magazine and they’ve issued an apology,” Max offered, eager to fill the silence. “And Eiji, I’ll look into getting them to compensate you for stealing your photo.”

While Max’s offer was generous, Ash just wanted him to shut up and leave more than anything else.

“Oh no!” Eiji laughed meekly, rubbing the back of his neck. “That’s okay. Don’t worry about it, really. I just want to make it up to Ash.”

Ash shifted, silently wishing that this whole situation would just end. He refused to acknowledge Max as he glanced at Ash the exact kind of knowing smugness that made him want to storm out of the building. Surely his face wasn’t giving away that much, was it?

“Thank you very much Eiji,” Max extended his hand to Eiji, catching the Japanese boy slightly off-guard before he shook Max’s hand. “Seems our young writer here has lost the ability to speak, so please accept my thanks from him.”

“Wha-”

“No time for chatting anymore Ash,” Max chided, interrupting Ash as he began to push him towards the exit of the building. “We’re late and have work to discuss. See you ‘round, kiddo!”

The last thing Ash saw before Max hurled him out onto the street was Eiji bowing politely. 

“Got it that bad already?” Max could barely contain the sly grin that had spread across his face. Ash wanted to punch him. What was the old man even trying to say?

“Don’t fucking push it.”


	3. The High Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Balvana's beautiful artwork [available to view here](https://imgur.com/a/BMDHyuF)

“So that’s how you met him?”

“Yup,” Eiji nodded.

“No offence, but that was kinda underwhelming…” Sing sighed as he stirred a second packet of sugar into his coffee. Americans really did like their food and drinks sweet, Eiji noted.

“Hold on, I took responsibility for my mistakes, faced Ash Lynx and his publisher, and you’re calling my story underwhelming?!” Eiji was slightly offended. He really had outdone himself in the confidence department on this one.

“Of course I’m underwhelmed!” Sing exclaimed. “I expected at least some juicy things here and there…” Sing paused to grin, and Eiji immediately knew that his mentor was about to say something stupid. “You didn’t even tell me if he was as hot as everyone says! These are the kinds of details I need to know Eiji.”

_Saw that coming._

Yet still, Eiji blushed. Because this Ash Lynx guy was ridiculously handsome. He knew if he started babbling to Sing about him, he probably wouldn’t be able to stop. God only knows how he had managed to keep his composure in front of Ash. Of course he looked good from afar and in photographs already, but standing that close to him…Eiji felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up at the very memory of those jade eyes piercing his soul.

“Well he… he looked...good,” he mumbled as the waitress placed desserts in front of the two boys.

“You look good, I look good - no, I actually look hot as hell - but this guy was supposed to have NYC’s strongest sex appeal! Ahh, I’m so disappointed…” Sing sighed again.

“Well if you’re not satisfied with my story or my account of it, just go and see him yourself next time!” Eiji punctuated his sentence by sticking his tongue out before taking his phone out of his pocket. He’d barely touched his drink, but the slice of cheesecake in front of him looked way too good not to photograph. He took a picture and published it to his Instagram Story.

Sing took a sip of his drink. “Apart from all this chaos, did you at least get a good grade to your autumn assignment? I mean, a good grade’s the bare minimum, otherwise it really wasn’t worth the angst.”

“No, not yet, I’m still waiting.” Eiji took a bite of his cheesecake and couldn’t help but let a fond smile and noise escape. “Ahhhh, Starbucks cheesecake really is the best…” he said dreamily.

Sing grumbled. “You’re such a tourist, Eiji!”

“Hey!” Eiji grinned and at the same time, his phone chimed. Uninterested, he glanced quickly at the screen and ended up choking on his second bite of cake.

“Eiji! Are you okay, man?!” Sing reached across the table to slap Eiji on the back, but paused when Eiji held up a hand to stop him.

**1 unread message - @aslanjc**  
_Nice shot, but Starbucks? Really? NYC has the best coffee in the States and you go here?_

“Fuck!” Eiji whined, placing his phone face down on the table.

“Fuck?! FUCK?! What’s gotten into you?!” Sing glared at his friend in horror upon hearing him cursing out loud like that. He took another sip of his iced coffee and grabbed Eiji’s phone.

Seconds later, the said iced coffee came streaming out of Sing’s nostrils. “IS IT HIM?!” he asked, coughing.

“IT IS,” Eiji squeaked, his voice so high he could hardly believe the sound had come out of his own mouth.

“Okay, okay,” Sing grabbed a handful of napkins to wipe down his face and the puddle of coffee on the table. “We got this! Lemme think...”

“We?”

“Well if you wanna deal with it yourself, fine by me, but just know I’m the best matchmaker in town,” Sing asserted, arms crossed and face more serious than Eiji had ever seen before.

“Who said I was looking for a match in the first place?”

“You can’t be serious Eiji. We’re talking about Ash Lynx, here! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!”

Eiji sighed, still embarrassed by this whole thing and not the slightest bit as excited as Sing. Ash Lynx wasn’t just totally out of Eiji’s league, but he was a celebrity. And why would a celebrity want to go out with an international student who barely had enough money to buy instant noodles each week?

Before Eiji could even begin to explain to Sing how hopeless this whole situation was, Sing had already grabbed his phone again.

“Lemme take care of this.”

“SING! NO! Give me back my phone!”

“Nope!” Sing grinned, holding the phone just out of Eiji’s reach, which was easy considering how Sing had a good two heads of height on him. “I thought you kinda didn’t care anyway? What do you have to lose?”

Eiji pouted while his friend started typing. A few minutes later, Eiji’s phone chimed again. Sing chuckled and typed another text before grinning to Eiji.

“Here you go! You have a date!”

“EXCUSE ME?!” Eiji took his phone out of Sing’s hands, feeling suddenly dizzy.

**@aslanjc - 5:14**  
_Nice shot, but Starbucks? Really? NYC has the best coffee in the States and you go here?_

**@ei-chan - 5:17**  
_Maybe I need a proper guide to show me where to go_

**@aslanjc - 5:18**  
_Alright. Are you available on Saturday?_

**@ei-chan - 5:18**  
_I am!_

**@aslanjc is typing…**

“SING SOO-LING!!!” Eiji yelled, the other customers glaring at his sudden outburst.

“No, no, don’t thank me, it’s my pleasure!” the Chinese student grinned.

**@aslanjc - 5:20**  
_Saturday, 3pm. Bryant Park. I’m sure you remember where it is, you took that photo of me there. I’ll take you to some real good places around NYC. Don’t forget your camera._

Yes, Eiji had intended to make it up to Ash a little more than by just apologising to him.

But this? _This?_

This was already going way too far.

* * *

The second after Ash pressed ‘send’ on the message, his blood ran through his veins as though it were electrified. Why was his heart beating through his chest? Why was he reading Eiji’s messages to him over and over again? He was only offering to show this guy around New York so he could immerse himself in the actual character of the city, rather than just experience the superficial chain-store facade that fooled so many tourists.

Ash sighed, rolling over onto his stomach. He’d spent the day at home in bed, the hours melting away as he devoured the novel that had sat untouched on his bedside table for weeks. He’d even had to brush off a thin layer of dust that had accumulated on the front cover. It had been too long since Ash had taken any time to himself to read. He’d spent every waking minute trying to work on his manuscript, often just collapsing into bed at some ungodly hour of the morning, too tired to focus on any kind of fine print in a book.

He silently thanked Max for suggesting that he take a break from writing; it really had helped. While the pressure to come up with an idea still lingered in the back of his mind, it no longer felt like a task that was insurmountable.

As Ash closed his book and picked up his phone, he didn’t even realize that he’d opened the Instagram app on his phone again and had gone straight to Eiji’s account. It was odd how the other boy didn’t have any photos of himself on there. A strange kind of disappointment bubbled into Ash’s chest as he scrolled through Eiji’s feed, eyes scanning each row for a photo of the student that he may have missed.

Nothing.

Ash groaned and rolled out of bed, glancing out of his window. It was dark outside, but staying inside any longer suddenly felt claustrophobic. He needed to get out of his apartment and do something. Ash gathered up his wallet, keys and notebook, just in case any unexpected inspiration struck him, and made his way down to the ground floor.

The streets were bathed in a kaleidoscope of neon coloured lights that reflected softly off the grimy concrete. Ash couldn’t help but feel like this would make for a good photo, but banished the thought as he shoved his hands into his coat pockets and continued to walk. He found himself heading towards Chinatown, and decided to go and pay Shorter a visit. The two had been best friends for years, and despite his goofiness, Shorter was actually a lot more intelligent and insightful than Ash gave him credit for. Not that Ash would tell him that.

Shorter lived in the flat above his family’s restaurant, and there was a chance he would be busy working in the kitchen. As Ash peered through the restaurant window, he couldn’t see Shorter’s trademark purple mohawk bobbing around the restaurant like a rooster’s tail, and assumed that his friend must still be upstairs. Ash let himself into the restaurant, greeted Shorter’s sister Nadia, and made his way to his friend’s flat.

Ash knocked on his door.

“Nadia I told you I’ll be down in half an hour!” he heard Shorter call out from inside.

Ash thumped on the door again. “It’s me dumbass.”

Seconds later the door flung open and Ash felt himself being pulled into a crushing muscle-bound hug.

“I fucking missed you man!” Shorter whined, his eyes sparkling with delight as Ash pulled away and gave his friend a playful punch in the arm. “Come in, come in, I’ll grab you a beer. Any preference?”

“Whatever you’re having,” Ash replied, making himself comfortable on the beat up old couch in Shorter’s living room. He’d spent more drunken nights sleeping there than he cared to admit, more than once waking up to Shorter smoking out the kitchen with whatever culinary creation he’d decided to attempt in his hungover state.

“So,” Shorter started, handing a beer to Ash before collapsing onto the couch next to him. “You’ve got that look on your face again. What’s up?”

“What look?” Ash scowled.

“Don’t bullshit me Ash you know exactly what I mean. You look like you’ve got something on your mind and-” Shorter held up a finger to stop Ash from interjecting as he took a swig of his drink, “-as your best friend it is my duty to listen and impart my wisdom on you. Now spit it out before Nadia hauls my ass back down into the kitchen.”

Ash rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help but laugh at Shorter’s determination. “Fine,” he replied. Shorter listened intently as Ash lamented his writer’s block, not interrupting once, even when Ash recounted the entire debacle with Eiji’s photo.

“So now,” Ash sighed, placing his empty bottle on the coffee table. “I’m acting as a tour guide for an international student instead of writing. God I really am losing my edge.”

“Sounds more like a date to me,” Shorter smirked, running his hand through his mohawk.

“What makes you say that?” Ash frowned. “I’m only trying to be nice. I did threaten to sue him.”

“Since when have you ever been concerned about being ‘nice,’ to someone?” Shorter asked, emphasising his sarcasm with air quotations. “Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re great, but it’s really unlike you to be so concerned about making sure some random person doesn’t hate you.”

Ash sighed, throwing his head back against the couch.

“And,” Shorter started again, “you did comment on his Instagram story and offered to take him around the city. Do you know how many girls would literally fight till the death to do that with you?”

Ash rolled his eyes. “They’re only interested in getting their photograph taken with me.”

“Well maybe your photographer boyfriend could organise that for them.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Ash sighed, hating the way that he sounded disappointed as the words escaped his mouth. “And before you ask, his name is Eiji and no, I don’t have any photos of him. His Instagram is all landscape and portrait photography.”

“Damn, I was really looking forward to seeing the guy that has you floundering around like a lovestruck teenager,” Shorter pouted, before standing up to stretch. “Alright, I’ve gotta go down and help cook. Nadia won’t let you leave here without taking something home to eat, so come down with me and I’ll see what we have ready.”

“Thanks,” Ash replied, too tired to defend himself against Shorter’s assumptions. He really hadn’t eaten much today and his stomach growled at the mention of food.

“Oh, and one more thing.”

“What?”

“As much as I wanna invite myself on your date, I won’t. But you gotta bring him over to Chang Dai so I can meet him. My treat.”

* * *

Eiji didn’t like to admit it, but he felt a bit anxious. Since arriving in America, he was used to wandering around New York City by himself or, from time to time, with Sing. Apart from that… he didn’t really go out with other people much.

Especially not with famous people.

October had started and the weather was still pleasant for that time of the year, but it was already noticeable how much chillier the air had gotten these last few days. Waiting on the bench of Bryant Park where Ash had been sitting a week before, Eiji shivered, pulled his scarf tighter around his neck and checked his phone again. For like, the tenth time in three minutes. He let out a deep sigh at his own unrest. He was awkwardly stressed, just like that time he had asked that girl out in high sch-

“Are you cold?”

Eiji startled, looked up and, upon seeing Ash’s alarmed face, immediately greeted the blond man with a wide smile. “Ash, hi! I’m fine! I was wondering if you’d actually come!”

“I’m a man of my word!” Ash said, bowing slightly, the blond strands of his hair falling into his eyes. “Sorry I’m a bit late. Punctuality ain’t really my thing,” he admitted, grinning while scratching the back of his neck. It was the first time Eiji saw him displaying such a large smile, and the student felt thunderstruck. “Well, shall we get going?”

Eiji nodded, the atmosphere around him taking on an almost dream-like quality. He knew that he couldn’t possibly say a word without his voice trembling from embarrassment after staring at Ash’s smile so intensely. They started walking, hands shoved deep in their own pockets.

Something was out of place. Eiji felt like a child, wearing random sneakers, a plain sweatshirt and a scarf, while Ash was looking handsome and classy in his long black coat, brown boots and a beige turtleneck. Eiji scolded himself for not putting more effort into his own appearance.

“What did you say?”

“Eh??” Eiji, completely at a loss, looked at the blond man.

“Didn’t you just groan right now?” Ash asked, eyebrows knitting together.

Oh no.

“Did I?!” Eiji replied, his voice so high-pitched that his guilt was clearly showing.

“It happens to me too,” Ash went on, apparently keen on not letting Eiji feel too embarrassed. “I have a hard time repressing my feelings when it comes to being bored, annoyed, or angry, so sometimes I just… let out noises. Especially with journalists! They get on my nerves easily.” Eiji was clinging to his every word like a fascinated child. He didn’t expect Ash to be so friendly. The other boy’s attitude helped him relax a little.

“I just hope you didn’t groan because I’m boring, or annoying, or getting on your nerves already!” Ash laughed.

“Not at all! It’s not that, it’s just… well… I’m clearly not at my best, meanwhile you... you look good.”

Ah crap, I didn’t plan on letting it out like that.

“Oh. Thanks,” the blond man replied, quickly looking away. Not quickly enough for Eiji to miss the blood rushing to his cheeks, though.

Nevermind. This is probably the best thing I’ve said all week.

“You look good too, though.” Ash added innocently, staring into the distance. Now it was Eiji’s turn to feel embarrassed. He never knew how to receive compliments - and it was apparently worse when they came from someone as handsome as Ash.

“So, where are you taking me?” Eiji managed to ask, trying to conceal his bashfulness as much as possible.

“You’ll see soon enough!”

And oh, Eiji saw all right.

When they finally got to The High Line, Eiji was genuinely enthralled.

“Okay, I admit it’s quite a touristy place, but we’re actually lucky because it’s even more crowded in the summer,” Ash said to Eiji amongst the rustling from other people. It was true, the place was busy indeed - but not as much as Times Square or the Brooklyn Bridge. “Anyway,” Ash went on, looking at his feet, “it’s a nice walk and I thought you might enjoy the duality between the green spaces and the elevated railway. Particularly how the tracks make their way through the buildings.”

Eiji’s jaw dropped a little, realizing how thoughtful Ash had actually been. He really put a lot of thought into his planning. Eiji felt warmth bubble in his stomach.

He turned to face Ash, still noticing the faint pink blush that seemed to etch itself into his pale skin. “You really thought this through! Thank you Ash, it means a lot. I can get some really good shots here.”

Ash granted Eiji a shy but obviously satisfied smile. Not bothered by the people walking past them, Eiji started taking pictures immediately, analyzing his surroundings through the eye of an artist. He shut everything around him out, lifting the viewfinder to his eye and focussed. The sound of his camera shutter became the only background noise Eiji registered, until Ash’s deep voice joined the melody.

Eiji had moved around a bit, kneeling and extending his arm to capture a difficult angle. Ash stuck by him the whole time without Eiji really noticing, making the odd comment about the history of the building.

Ash’s voice was low and alluring,  
and Eiji felt as though his explanations were meant to be heard only by him alone.  
“These tracks were meant for freight trains to pass above the city, at the beginning of the 1930’s. The last train ran on the tracks at the end of 1980.”

A few times, Eiji stopped taking pictures and just stood, listening to Ash, before walking a few meters further, his companion still following him like a watchful shadow.

_Click, click._

Ash’s voice.

_Click, click, click._

Ash’s voice.

It almost sounded like a lullaby. Despite the place getting busier, Eiji was feeling at peace; calm and present in his surroundings. Looking through his camera lens, he slowly turned around, and caught Ash staring at him.

“What is it?” he asked, lowering his camera.

“Oh, nothing, sorry,” Ash mumbled before walking further down the rails. It almost seemed like he had blushed slightly, but Eiji scolded himself silently for getting ahead of himself like that. He captured a few more shots of wild flowers before following Ash’s steps. They walked down the railways, Ash still commenting on the history of the building and its uses, with Eiji stopping from time to time to take a picture.

“There’s a great pop-up coffee shop nearby. If you’re happy with the shots you got, we can go there and grab something to drink - like, real coffee,” Ash winked, his tone playful.

“Hey!” Eiji pouted, intent on stifling the grin that threatened to give him away. “I do drink real coffee! It’s just that I love Starbucks cheesecake!”

“Whatever!” Ash said, laughing and holding up his hand to dismiss Eiji’s blasphemous remark. The sound of Ash’s laugh echoed in Eiji’s head. He wanted to savour it for as long as he could.

Returning to the street, Ash made a sudden turn into a narrow alleyway before he stopped abruptly and cursed. “Fuck, I miss the entrance every time.” He backtracked a bit, almost bumping into Eiji, and lowered his head before pushing a door open.

“After you,” he said.

No wonder Ash missed the entrance - Eiji hadn’t noticed the door at all. And it looked surprisingly small, at least compared to the size of most things in New York.

Stepping inside, the first thing that struck Eiji was the dim lights and the warmth of the place. The tables were few in number and spaced out in order to give as much privacy as possible to customers. A waitress welcomed them, and Eiji realized that Ash must have been a regular, because she asked him if the “usual spot” was fine by him.

The waitress led them to the end of the room, in a corner next to the window. She took their orders right away, and Eiji silently panicked at the coffee names - real coffee names. His distress must have been showing, because Ash smirked before turning to the waitress.

“A long black please, and a mocha. Would you be so kind as to add two cakes of the day with that?”

The waitress looked absolutely charmed by Ash’s good manners - and good looks, Eiji thought. The thought of other people looking at Ash bothered him more than he cared to admit. Ash was courteous enough to not tease Eiji any longer about his lack of actual knowledge about coffee. Eiji had to admit that the taste of both the mocha and the maple pecan muffin were divine. It was very close to dethroning the Starbucks cheesecake.

As they finished up their coffee and cakes, the critical moment arrived when somebody had to pay.

“It’s my treat!” Eiji exclaimed as the waitress cleared the table.

“No, no way. I’m the one who invited you today and made you go out.”

“Yes, but I decided to agree, AND! I still have to make up for this whole… magazine thing,” Eiji mumbled.

“Eiji. I can’t possibly invite you and show you around and not pay for this.”

“If you don’t accept that it’s my treat, I’m gonna be very offended,” Eiji said, pouting and crossing his arms. But clearly, Ash wasn’t taking him seriously. Well, he had to bring his A-game, then. “Listen, Ash. It’s a Japanese tradition to pay for the coffee of blond people.”

Silence ensued.

“Wait, really?”

Was the renowned Ash Lynx really falling for this right now?

“Yes, really!” Eiji answered, as serious as possible.

“... You’re joking, right?”

“I am not,” the Japanese boy said and, exploiting Ash’s uncertainty, he quickly gave his debit card to the waitress, who was observing them as if she was watching a tennis game. As she gave Eiji his card back, she smiled and shot the both of them a meaningful look.

“I applied the 5% discount for couples that we offer on Saturday afternoons!” she beamed, handing Eiji the receipt.

It took a few seconds for both Eiji and Ash to let what she had said sink in.

“We… I…I mean…” the Japanese boy started, lifting his hand as if to physically express his disagreement.

“It’s all good honey, we’re in New York after all,” Ash interrupted him and gently took Eiji’s hand between his own, rubbing his thumb across his knuckles.

“You two look really cute,” the waitress giggled before leaving. Ash waited a few more seconds before slowly letting Eiji’s hand go. He started to put on his coat and to get up, while Eiji remained absolutely frozen, staring at him with his eyes so wide they could as well have taken over his whole face at this point.

They walked out of the coffee shop in an awkward silence, Eiji’s knuckles still burning from Ash’s touch. He decided to be the one to break it in spite of his feeling of uneasiness.

“Well, that was a bit embarrassing, wasn’t it!” he tried to chuckle but it sounded more like a choke, really.

“The place is nice and the products are good, but they’re quite expensive. I already feel bad enough for letting you pay, so the least I could do was play my part to keep that discount,” Ash stated calmly.

Oh. Of course. That’s why he took my hand. To play along. Why else?

Eiji couldn’t help but feel disappointed. And stupid.

“You lied about the blond person thing in Japan, right?” Ash asked, stopping Eiji’s train of thought.

“I did,” Eiji admitted.

“Fuck. I knew it.”

As they burst into laughter, Eiji felt a wave of relief overtaking him. The more one of them laughed, the more the other couldn’t stop. Eventually, when they calmed down, Eiji’s eyes were a little tearful. The two men looked at each other - a little too long and intensely to feel casual, and Ash cleared his throat.

“If you don’t have to go home yet, I can show you another place. You might’ve been there already but it’s the best place to watch the autumn sunset,” Ash said, and Eiji could swear he detected a hint of hope in this request.

Even if Eiji had to go home, he probably wouldn’t have wanted to leave just yet anyway. He was enjoying this afternoon. A lot. And as the day went by, he became more and more aware of the sense of comfort that Ash’s presence brought him.

“Let’s go,” he said with a smile, and Ash’s jade eyes lit up.


	4. The Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Balvana's beautiful artwork of Ash and Eiji, [available to view here](https://imgur.com/a/BMDHyuF)

The sun hung low in the sky, the fluorescent pink rays illuminating the clouds and water of the bay surrounding them. Ash was thankful Eiji had agreed to visit Coney Island as one last stop before their day came to an end. Even though Ash had been to this location countless times before, watching Eiji’s unabashed delight as he snapped photo after photo, filled Ash with a renewed sense of appreciation for the city he had grown so accustomed to. 

“Ash…?” 

The sound of Eiji’s voice interrupted Ash’s train of thought as he turned to face soft brown eyes meeting his own. “Hm?”

Eiji lowered his camera, the lens resting in his hand. Ash felt his heart stutter as his companion smiled, shifting his posture before staring down at his shoes.

“I feel guilty asking after everything that happened, but... would you mind… if I took a photo of you? You can say no, I won’t be offended. The sun is just reflecting in your hair...you- I mean, it looks beautiful.” He paused, as if to summon any dormant courage within him. “I’d like to remember this day with you.” 

It was at this moment, something warm and tender unfurled inside of Ash, his blood running just slightly hotter inside his veins as the gravity of what Eiji had said to him sunk in. 

_I’d like to remember this day with you._

Ash brushed his hair from his eyes. “Of course I don’t mind,” he replied, almost too eagerly. Eiji’s sincerity had utterly thrown him off, and once again Ash felt his face flush with colour. 

He couldn’t deny how much he too had enjoyed spending the day with Eiji; time seemed to slow to a stop, yet the hours flew by as the two talked and made stops for Eiji to take photos. Apart from Shorter, Ash had never felt so at ease spending time with another person before. But somehow, this felt different.

“You don’t need to do anything special, just stand like you were before and look out at the ocean,” Eiji explained, fiddling with the settings on his camera. “Whenever you are ready, Ash. I will take the photo so that we can’t see your face.”

Ash had to admit, he did feel slightly awkward posing, but he felt safe around Eiji. He wasn’t intrusive, demanding or nosy. He respected Ash’s boundaries, he didn’t view Ash as a commodity or a god. Eiji treated Ash with the type of genuine kindness and humanity that made Ash feel as though the world wasn’t such a terrible place after all. Eiji was completely focused, eye pressed to his viewfinder as he snapped photo after photo, the tip of his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth.

_So cute..._

“Done!” Ash couldn’t help but notice how the last rays of sunlight turned the other boy’s cheeks the most beautiful shade of rose gold as he smiled. “Thank you so much Ash. These are the best photos I’ve taken all afternoon.”

“I’m glad. Feel free to use those however you want,” Ash winked, resisting the urge to laugh at the way Eiji’s eyes widened.

“Well, to be honest…” Eiji’s voice was barely above a murmur as he fiddled with his camera strap. “I was just going to keep them for myself, but... they look so good already, maybe I should post them! If that’s okay with you, of course.”

“Fine by me.” Ash tone was once again too eager for his own liking as he shifted his weight to his other leg. “It’s getting dark, so I’ll show you the aquarium before all the light goes. Unless you need to be home soo-”

“I’m not in a rush at all!”

The sun plunged further into the water as the two made their way to the aquarium, shoulder to shoulder. Ash hadn’t thought to check the time even once, and a wave of remorse settled in his stomach as he realized that his afternoon with Eiji was drawing to a close. 

Despite his initial intention to merely do the right thing by showing Eiji around New York, Ash had thoroughly enjoyed himself. He couldn’t remember the last time he had lived so purely in the moment, let alone enjoyed somebody’s company so much. Exploring the city with Eiji, scouting locations for photographs, all the while gently teasing each other had pushed the lingering bitterness of Ash’s writer’s block to the furthest corner of his mind. 

“Oh Ash, this is so beautiful! Thank you!” The sound of Eiji’s shutter seemed to almost match the tempo of Ash’s heartbeat as his companion angled himself to take a photo of the street art decorating a nearby wall. “Let’s go inside an-”

_“Hey!”_

Ash jerked around. Eiji lowered his camera.

“Hey, you’re Ash Lynx right?! Guys, it’s Ash Lynx!”

The sound of camera shutters descended on Ash and Eiji like a swarm of locusts, intent on capturing any image possible until their subject was picked bare.

_Fucking tabloid journalists._

“Eiji, I’m sorry. We have to leave. Now.” Ash’s voice was a low murmur from between his teeth. He pulled Eiji closer towards himself, his companion’s smile morphing into an expression of confusion as he took in the situation evolving around them. 

“Why are they-” 

“Hold onto your camera and _run_ _!_ ” Without thinking, Ash grabbed Eiji’s hand and pushed past the growing crowd of men descending upon them, armed with photography equipment five times the size of Eiji’s small DSLR. 

_“Who’s that boy with you Ash?”_

_“Did he cause your breakdown, or is he a rebound?”_

_“When’s your next book coming out?”_

Ash’s relationship with the media was already strained at best, but nothing prepared him for the sheer hatred he felt towards these people when their behaviour involved Eiji. He risked a glance over his shoulder and noticed two of the men stalking after him, their faces obscured by sunglasses and hoodies. 

Adrenaline took over Ash as he guided Eiji through alleyways and enclaves, seemingly invisible to those who were not hardened veterans of New York’s maze of streets. Eiji followed wordlessly, his laboured breathing drowned out by the blare of taxi horns and street performers. His free hand clutched the lens of his camera as he obeyed Ash’s every instruction, eyes shining. 

After half an hour of ducking behind buildings and crouching behind skip bins, Ash let out the breath he realized he’d been holding. Night had fallen, and Ash and Eiji stood together under the halo of light cast by a streetlamp. 

“Eiji, I am so...I’m so sorry,” Ash started, but guilt seized at his throat. How could he have let this happen? How could he have been so stupid as to think that he could just carry on with his life as normal after that magazine article ran? Ash was more angry with himself than anyone else. Releasing Eiji’s hand, he stepped away and sighed. “I’ve let you down. I’m sorry.”

Eiji scratched his cheek, head tilted in confusion. “But Ash, that wasn’t your fault at all.” 

Ash sighed, plunging his hands deep into the pockets on his coat. “I’m truly sorry you had to experience that.”

“What do you mean?” Eiji’s confusion was genuine, and Ash blinked.

_...He’s not angry?_

“Really Ash, don’t worry! If anything, I felt like I was in an action movie! I hate that they treat you like that, but I promise I’m fine.” 

“But I didn’t even tell you why we were running away,” Ash countered, drawing his scarf tighter around his neck. The looming blackness of night had turned the wind icy, but the warmth emanating from Eiji’s enthusiasm occupied all of Ash’s attention. 

_Surely he must just be being polite..._

“It didn’t seem like we had the time to go through the details!” Eiji laughed, before his face turned serious again. “I trust you, Ash. You told me to run, so I did.”

Ash froze. Eiji trusted him? Ash couldn’t help but return Eiji’s smile, relief washing over him. “You really _are_ a kid.” 

“I’m older than you!” Eiji punctuated his argument with an exaggerated pout, folding his arms across his chest like a spoiled child.

“Not when you stick your tongue out like that,” Ash teased, resisting the urge to ruffle Eiji’s hair just to further prove his point. “It’s late. We’re almost at the subway station, so we should probably head home.”

Disappointment flashed across Eiji’s face, but disappeared just as soon as it had shown, before his expression settled into a soft smile. “I really can’t thank you enough for today Ash. I had such a good time with you. Thank you very much.”

“I had a great time too. And… if you’d like to escape from rabid journalists again, just let me know and we’ll set up a date.” _Fuck._ Ash balanced his expression into one of polite neutrality as he attempted to fan away his embarrassment. 

Eiji’s hands tightened around the lens of his camera, and Ash swore that he could see excitement sparkling within him. “I would love that!” 

The heated air trapped within the subway station swallowed the two as they made their way towards Eiji’s platform, the silence between them comfortable until the announcement that Eiji’s ride home was about to arrive. The sight of the approaching train filled Ash with a strange sense of wistfulness, as though the afternoon’s spell would be broken from their impending separation. 

“Message me next time you’re free. I’ll see you soon, Eiji.” Ash squeezed his shoulder, their gaze lingering just long enough to send waves of heat through Ash’s body. 

Ash jumped on the next train going in his direction, not even needing to listen to the platform announcements. The carriage was empty, graffiti and flickering fluorescent lights illuminating grime stuck to every surface and the rubbish from a McDonald’s Happy Meal that someone had left behind. His phone chimed in his pocket as he sat down. 

_@ei-chan just posted a photo_ _  
_ _  
_ Aptly captioned ‘October Dusk,’ the photo was of Ash, taken from behind to obscure his features as he looked out to the ocean. Happiness warmed Ash from within, acute and heady like mulled wine as he took out his notebook and began to write. 

Time collapsed under the volume of words. Even the walk home from the station was a second-priority, his feet shuffling under him slower than the pen in his hand. Hours after he returned to his apartment, Ash continued to write, his fervour almost trance-like in its intensity. His thoughts could scarcely keep up with his handwriting as he inked word after word, inspiration flowing from the tip of his ballpoint pen onto the blank paper of his Moleskine. Ash’s shoulders ached and his eyesight had started to blur in the dim light of his bedroom, but he refused to stop.

Just as Ash could feel himself succumbing to exhaustion, he photographed the pages of his writing and drafted an email to Max. 

**To:** maxlobo@glenreedpublishing.com **  
** **Subject:** Good news, but do NOT call me about this tomorrow before 11am or I’ll put a price on your head

 **Attachments:** 24 

_Hey old man,_

_Don’t have a heart attack on me, but here’s an unedited draft I worked on tonight. I know you’ll like it, so don’t be too jealous that you didn’t come up with the idea first._

_I just felt really inspired._

_Ash._  
  


*** * ***

Seconds after Eiji uploaded the photo of Ash he took that day, his phone chimed. And chimed again. And again. _And again._ His Instagram notifications were flooded with Likes, and he even received a couple of comments praising his work. Eiji stared at his phone, not quite sure what to make of the sudden and unexpected attention his photo was getting. 

And then he saw it.

Ash had Liked his post. And that Like alone was worth more than anything. 

On Sunday, Eiji focused on finishing his assignments for the week - a one thousand word analysis of portraiture photography techniques from the 1980’s, editing a culinary photograph he’d taken in class…but the truth was, he couldn’t stop his mind from returning to the events of the previous day. 

Eiji hadn’t had that much fun in a long time. Sure, attending sorority parties, grabbing a coffee after class or working on a photography assignment was entertaining, but it didn’t feed his soul in the same way as spending time with Ash did. No, this time, he got to wander around New York City, and not only indulge in his love for photography, but also enjoy the company of a brilliant, sweet and _handsome_ American. 

Eiji even got to experience a real-life car chase! Well okay, they were on foot, but _still…_ The more he thought about it, the more Eiji realized how much this previous day came close to his idea of a perfect day. 

When he had decided to go to the publishing company to properly apologize to Ash, he never would have thought that somebody so famous and revered could actually be so… approachable. And friendly. Eiji had been so stressed before yesterday’s meeting, especially since _Sing_ had initiated it. But in the end, everything went smoothly and he and Ash clicked in a way that Eiji had never experienced before with another person. Heat crept into his cheeks every time he thought about Ash suggesting that they meet again.

In fact, Eiji was so happy that the sole idea of seeing the writer again kept him distracted for the whole of Monday. 

“Eiji, I swear I could’ve spoken to a wall all day long and it would’ve been more expressive than you. You keep spacing out man! Am I that annoying?!” Sing whined as they waited for their last class of the day. 

Eiji shot Sing an apologetic smile. “Oh…sorry, Sing. I just have…a lot on my mind, I guess?” Eiji replied, noticing how hesitant he sounded. Sing would go crazy if he found out that Ash Lynx was the one occupying his thoughts. First, he was _not_ ready to admit that and, second, he really was not sure this could be received as ‘having a lot on one’s mind’ anyway. 

“Everything alright?” Sing asked, the crease between his eyebrows testifying to his concern. Eiji’s stomach churned with guilt for making his friend worry. 

“Yeah, I am fine! When I say I have a lot on my mind, I’m talking about good things!” Eiji explained, giving Sing a thumbs up. Sing narrowed his eyes, apparently unconvinced by Eiji’s attempt at throwing off his questioning. Thankfully, their teacher arrived just in time and Sing kept his mouth shut. 

Mr Carter was in his late 60’s and he had a white beard and kind eyes that twinkled when he got excited during his lectures. His appearance reminded Eiji of the Santa Claus vignettes he’d seen on the front of Christmas cards. He was their marketing and management professor. Apparently, having a degree in photography was one thing, but without knowing how to properly manage one’s own business, it wouldn’t get you very far. 

Eiji liked Mr Carter very much, he was patient, made boring topics interesting, and always made sure that the international students understood everything he was saying. There definitely were worse classes to finish the day with.

At least, that’s what Eiji thought. 

“Mister Okumura, could you come here a second please?”

Most of the students had already left the classroom, but the few left glanced at Eiji, wondering why he was being called like that at the end of the course. Eiji was wondering _exactly_ the same thing. He approached Mr Carter’s desk with hesitant steps, while Sing waited for him at the back of the class. 

“Don’t worry, everything’s fine!” Mr Carter smiled, sensing Eiji’s concern. “I ran into Mr Williams in the professors’ office earlier, and he asked me to tell you to go and see him in his office before leaving campus tonight.”

Everything’s fine? _Everything’s fine?!_ Why were teachers suddenly calling Eiji from everywhere today?! 

“Did he…did he seem mad?” Eiji stuttered, his stomach lurching. 

“Oh no, not at all! Don’t sweat it kid, he probably just wants to talk to you about an assignment or something.” 

An assignment, right. Mister Williams was the autumn photography assignment professor after all. _Oh man, has he heard about the tabloid thing?!_

On the way to the professors’ office, Sing tried to reassure Eiji, but the anxiety was getting the best of him. 

“Thanks for coming with me Sing,” Eiji sighed, facing the sturdy wooden door in front of him. It was plastered with notices about office hours and research opportunities. “I don’t know how long this could take, so you can go home. I’ll be okay!”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind, ya know!” Sing offered, tugging at the drawstrings on his hoodie. He seemed nervous too, but that was probably because he had mountains of homework to finish that he hadn’t started, Eiji thought.

“No it’s all good, really! I’ll see you tomorrow.”

They waved at each other one last time, before Eiji took a deep breath in and knocked on the door of office 4D.

“Come on in!” a deep, rumbling voice answered from inside. As soon as Eiji cracked the door open, Mr Williams welcomed him. “Ah, Eiji! Come in, come in! How are you? Please take a seat!”

Mr Williams sounded so excited that Eiji didn’t have time to utter a single word. 

“Eiji, look, sorry to bother you on a Monday night, but I really needed to talk to you about your autumn assignment.”

_Here we go._

Mentally, Eiji was hiding his face behind his hands. He tried his best to keep his composure stable. 

“I wanted to congratulate you for the picture you submitted. I hadn’t been that moved by a student’s work in a while.”

_Wait. What?_

“The way the angle deepens the feeling of melancholy that the man exudes,” Mr Williams went on, “the perfect lighting coupled with the depth of field…the composition was completely stunning.” 

At this point, Eiji’s jaw just dropped as he stared at his professor in silence. When he said he thought he could get a good mark on this one, he meant it - but he wasn’t expecting so much praise either. 

“I’m handing in all your assignments on Wednesday, but I wanted to see you first and talk to you personally. So far, your works have always been quite good, but it seems like you keep getting better week after week. Anyway, you got the best mark of the entire class - and, to be completely honest, the best mark I've given in years!” Mr Williams laughed as Eiji scrambled to formulate a response to all the positive feedback he’d just received. 

“Thank you very much Sir, I don’t know what to say, it… it means a lot!” Eiji answered, his head almost dizzy after receiving so many compliments. 

“Don’t thank me - you’re the one who’s talented. And I don’t know who that guy is, or where you know him from, but something clearly happened that day. This shot…it was emotionally charged. My only request is that you keep going this way, young man!”

“I will!” Eiji nodded enthusiastically. His heart was ready to explode, both because of the euphoria and because of the way his professor just mentioned Ash. 

As he stepped out of the office and rushed towards the exit, one thought was invading his mind, relentlessly. 

_I have to tell Ash about this._

_I have to tell Ash about this._

_I have to tell Ash about this._

His excitement getting the best of him, Eiji pulled his phone out of his pocket and rushed to click on the Instagram icon. Selecting his conversation with Ash, he didn’t think any further and started recording a voice message. 

“Hi Ash!! Sorry to bother you but I just got back my mark for my autumn assignment! Ah, damn, you don’t know what it is…well, it’s actually the assignment that made you end up in the tabloids because of me, haha...okay this is so not funny…anyway, my teacher called me in and I got the best mark he gave in _years_!! I’m just so happy right now and I…” Suddenly acknowledging how childish and crazy he was probably sounding at that moment, Eiji paused. He couldn’t really go back now anyway - once he lifted his finger, the voice message would be sent. He cleared his throat, trying to control his voice as much as possible. “Well, I just wanted to share this news with you because it's thanks to you, too. So, thank you, Ash. From the bottom of my heart.”

Eiji lifted his finger, saw the voice message being sent, and sighed. He’d babbled like a teenager and felt pretty stupid. Putting in his earphones, he walked to the subway station and texted Sing to reassure him. When Eiji’s phone chimed, he was expecting Sing’s answer. 

His heart missed a beat when he saw Ash’s username appearing on screen.

Ash had sent a vocal back. 

Eiji’s heart started racing in a very unhealthy way when he thought about listening to Ash’s voice. He couldn’t bring himself to click on the play button right away. 

He was standing, waiting for the next train, when he finally decided to listen to Ash’s answer. The writer’s voice felt strangely heartwarming. 

“Hey, Eiji. Thanks for letting me know, it’s great news! I’m not surprised, you work hard. I mean, you deserve it.” A silence followed and Eiji thought for a second that the voice message was over. Ready to listen to it once again, he noticed it was actually still playing. “What about…” Ash hesitated, “What about we grab a drink tonight, to celebrate?” 

Electricity ran down Eiji’s spine. 

He texted Ash back, and asked where and when.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 5 and 6 will be posted tomorrow! Thanks for reading, we hope you are enjoying our story and would love to hear your thoughts so far!


	5. The Pumpkins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our fic is inspired by Balvana's beautiful artwork [available to view here](https://imgur.com/a/BMDHyuF)

The bar Ash had suggested Eiji meet him at wasn’t fancy or outlandish like other establishments in the city, however that was exactly the reason why Ash chose it.  _ The Hemingway _ had character, without the pretentiousness or ridiculously high prices that were typical of other bars in the inner city, and this went for the clientele as well. 

The conversations of the few other patrons were hushed and intimate, rising and falling with the lull of jazz music playing in the background. The floor was cluttered with ornate wrought-iron barstools and matching timber tables, each of these lit by a warm industrial-style light globe that hung low from the ceiling. Ash stretched, untangling his scarf from his neck. 

_ Maybe I should message Eiji just to make sure he isn’t lost… _

As Ash opened up Instagram, cursing himself for somehow still not having Eiji’s phone number, he heard the door creak open quietly.

“Ash,” Eiji waved as he made his way over to Ash’s table, his cheeks rosy from the bitterness of the wind outside. The ripple of muscles hidden beneath Eiji’s navy coloured sweater did not go unnoticed, Ash forcibly redirecting his mind to the situation at present. 

“I’m  _ so  _ sorry I am late, I went down the wrong street and kind of got lost,” Eiji sighed, pulling out the chair opposite Ash and offering an apologetic smile. “I hope that I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m happy to see you Eiji,” Ash grinned. “Next time we do this, I’ll pick you up so we can walk together. Although I think I should give you my phone number anyway, just in case.” 

“Good idea!” Eiji’s hand was in his pocket before Ash even finished his sentence. He typed in his passcode so fast that Ash wondered if he had anticipated this moment and practiced beforehand. “Actually, I have been meaning to give you mine too,” Eiji admitted as he passed his phone to Ash. “Instagram gets a little difficult when you want to talk to each other.” 

As the two exchanged numbers, Ash silently thanked his past self for choosing to meet in a location with low lighting. The warm yellow tinge of the lights made the scarlet that tinged his cheeks less obvious. 

“Most importantly though,” Ash smirked as he passed a menu to Eiji. “Congratulations again on your assignment.”

“Thanks,” Eiji blushed, and Ash resisted the sudden urge to brush his thumb over those rounded, pink coloured cheeks. “I still wish I took the photo under better circumstances. And it’s a bit selfish of me, but I am glad everything led to me meeting you.”

“Me too.” The silence between the two was comfortable, both of their gazes lingering just long enough to make Ash feel as though he’d had a few drinks already. “I’ll grab us something to drink. What would you like?”

“I will have a-” Eiji squinted at the menu, because of course the universe had to deliver yet another blow to Ash’s thinly-veiled composure.  _ God he’s so cute.  _ “-a Pina Colada please.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Ash returned with their drinks a few minutes later, Eiji pausing to snap a photo of his cocktail before he put his lips to the straw. “It’s really good!” he sighed, his expression cherubic as he twirled the small paper umbrella between his fingers.

Ash took a sip of his gin and tonic. “I’ve actually got some good news to share with you too. I think I’ve managed to kick my writer’s block. I sent something I wrote to my publisher, and he really liked it.” 

“Ash, that’s amazing! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?! I’m so happy for you!” Eiji exclaimed, reaching across the table to grab Ash’s wrist. Ash felt his brain short-circuit at the other boy’s touch. Eiji’s hands were even softer than he’d imagined. “How did you do it?”

“To be honest, I didn’t really do anything,” Ash admitted. He hoped that Eiji wasn’t anticipating a montage-like recount of Ash sitting under a waterfall and looking within himself for inspiration. Ash never was one for drama. “But,” Ash continued slowly, taking a sip of his drink, “after that afternoon we spent together, I just couldn’t stop writing. Watching you take photos...your excitement...the way you view the world. It really motivated me.” Every nerve in Ash’s body pulsed with electricity as he placed a hand on top of Eiji’s. Nothing in his whole life had ever felt so right before. “I can’t thank you enough Eiji. I owe it all to you.” 

“I…” Eiji blinked, peering under thick, dark lashes at Ash. The reciprocated contact seemed to throw him off guard, but Eiji beamed. His smile was so sweet, so genuine, that Ash felt like his breath had been sucked from his lungs. 

“I don’t know what to say, Ash. I’m so happy that I was able to help you. I really, really am.” Emotions, warm and intense, swirled within Ash as soon as Eiji’s words left his lips. As much as he wanted to write these feelings off as the aftermath of alcohol consumption, Ash hadn’t even finished his first drink. He knew that there was more to what he was feeling, but he’d think about that later. For now, he simply wanted to enjoy his time with Eiji, to bask in his presence and discuss their next meetup. 

Over the next few weeks, the weather grew colder and the trees blazed with colour against the grey cityscape. Ash, however, had never felt warmer. When Eiji didn’t have class, Ash would meet him for coffee. They tried out new restaurants across the city and spent afternoons together in quiet comfort. Eye contact with Eiji lingered, the connection a wordless bridge between the two, and light touches became amplified in their brazenness. 

The Rose Reading Room of the New York Public Library became a favourite hangout spot for the two, Ash sitting next to Eiji as they each worked on their own creative projects. On a Friday afternoon, three quarters of the way through penning a sentence, Ash felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

“Fuck.”

“What’s wrong, Ash?” Eiji closed the lid of his laptop and turned to face Ash, concern etched into his features.

“Shorter.”

“Your best friend?”

“Yeah. That annoying bastard.” Ash knew he couldn’t postpone introducing Eiji to Shorter forever. And Shorter was far too cunning for his own good. 

“What did he do?”

“He’s invited me-  _ us,  _ actually _ ,  _ to a Halloween party at his restaurant tonight. He said, and I quote, ‘Bring a plus one (Eiji) or-” Ash felt the second half of the sentence wither in his throat.

_ Shorter you shit.  _

“Or?”

“...or I’m DMing him those photos of you crying near the pumpkin decorations from the party last year. I won’t hesitate, bitch.” Ash rolled his eyes. 

“That’s great! Eiji exclaimed, his voice raised just enough for another patron to shoot him a sour look. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting him. But why were you crying?”

Ash sighed and removed his glasses, locking his phone before Eiji could see the barrage of eggplant emojis Shorter had spammed Ash with. “I wasn’t crying. Anyway, do you have some kind of costume?”

“I can find something!”

“Don’t go overboard,” Ash warned, ignoring his phone that was still buzzing with cryptic yet suggestive messages from Shorter. He really was going to kill him. “Nobody will be sober enough to notice anything beyond some fake blood and a witch’s hat. But we should probably get going now so we have time to find some kind of costume to wear to this god-forsaken event.”

“I’ve never been to a Halloween Party before,” Eiji sighed happily. “I can’t wait, Ash. I’m so excited! I’m ready to leave now, I don’t want to be late.”   
  
In spite of his bad mood, Ash couldn’t help but soften at Eiji’s enthusiasm. He’d just come up with an idea that he was  _ sure  _ would make Eiji’s first Halloween party absolutely unforgettable. Ash stood, placing his notebook into his coat pocket. “I can guarantee you Eiji, we won’t be late.” 

“I’d better go and find a costume. I’ll see you tonight!” Excitement shimmered in Eiji’s eyes as he gifted Ash with one last smile before turning to head back towards the university. 

Ash all but sprinted back to his apartment, his breathing rapid as he faced his front door and jammed the key into the lock. Thank god his neighbours weren’t around to see him like this. Not even pausing to take off his coat, Ash immediately called Max, growing more and more impatient with each ring. Max finally answered after what seemed like an eternity. 

“Ash! Any more writing for me? How’s your-”

“Max, I have a favour to ask.”  _ He’d better say yes or I’m never living this down. _

Max paused, amused by Ash’s request. “Well this is new. How can I help?”

Ash set aside his pride and pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t believe what he was about to ask. “Your bike Max...I wanna borrow it. Just for tonight,” he exhaled. “Please.”

Ash could practically feel his publisher’s smirk through the phone. He wanted to punch him.

“I see. I suspect you’ll be wanting a second helmet too then?”

Ash grunted a reply, heat prickling the back of his neck. Why did everybody around him have to be so damn nosey?

“Well, if you have it back in one piece by tomorrow, I won’t mind too much.”

“Thanks Max, I owe you one. I’ll come round in half an hour.”

“Oh, and Ash?”

“What?”  
  
“I should probably just remind you, you know, now that you have a boyfriend, to practice safe s-”

Ash pressed the end call button milliseconds before Max had the satisfaction of finishing his sentence. God, his friends could be absolute pains in the ass. 

  
  


* * *

Eiji had been staring at his own reflection in the mirror for five good minutes, pouting. He had managed to find a witch hat in the first Walmart next door, but he was not really convinced by his appearance. He sighed, defeated - he wanted to look good tonight. For Ash, but also to make a great first impression with his friends. 

Eiji’s phone chimed, interrupting his train of thoughts. It was a text from Ash.

_ “I’m here.”  _

His heart rate reached dangerous heights. Eiji had met Ash almost two months ago and they had been spending a  _ lot  _ of time together during the previous weeks - but still, every time Eiji was about to see him, his heart mysteriously threatened to jump out of his chest. 

He left his small student’s studio and made his way out, broom in one hand and hat in the other. Walking out of the building, Eiji started looking for Ash’s car- but the street seemed weirdly empty. He checked his phone again, just to be sure he hadn’t dreamed about Ash’s text. 

Eiji walked down the alley, squinting, until he heard Ash’s familiar voice hailing him. 

“Over here, Eiji.”

Suddenly breathless, Eiji stopped right in his tracks. The reason why he couldn’t make out any car in the dark, was because Ash hadn’t driven here. 

The American writer was sitting on a red and imposing motorcycle. Leaning on the handlebar, Ash’s chin was resting in one of his hands, while his other arm lazily hung against his leg, a spare helmet swinging between his fingers. He stared at Eiji from under pale blond eyelashes, teasing jade eyes carefully observing Eiji’s reaction. 

_ God. Oh god. He’s so hot. He is. So hot. _

“What…what about my broom?” Eiji asked in a hoarse voice - because that sentence was the best he could come up with at the moment. He wanted to swallow, but his mouth had gone dry. 

Ash laughed, and Eiji felt the last thread of his self-restraint snap as he was forced to acknowledge his feelings for the blond man in front of him. 

“Just leave it at your place. There’s more than enough of those at Chang Dai. And you can put your hat under the seat with my stuff.” 

Eiji nodded hastily and seized this opportunity to rush back to his studio, leaving the broom in a corner, and scream a little in the privacy of his own home. 

“‘I’ve never ridden a motorcycle before,” Eiji admitted when he returned, his face composed again. At least, he hoped it was.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle. Just hold on tight to me!” Ash said cheerfully as he fastened the helmet straps under Eiji’s chin. 

So Eiji did. He sat behind Ash, his legs feeling like they had turned into jelly, and put his arms around the other man’s waist. Ash turned on the engine, which roared loudly, sending Eiji’s heart racing at the same time. All of a sudden, Ash took Eiji’s hands in his own, and tightened the boy’s embrace around him. 

_ You shouldn’t do this _ , Eiji thought to himself. _ I might never let go.  _

They set off, and Eiji wondered whether they were riding or flying. 

Unfortunately, the ride to Chang Dai was surprisingly quick. Eiji couldn’t tell if it was because of the speed - since Ash clearly wasn’t respecting the speed limits, -or if he had just enjoyed this exhilarating sensation so much that it had felt too short for his own liking. 

Eiji was expecting his legs to give out as he got off the motorcycle, but they didn’t. He was actually feeling great - and powerful, somehow. Chang Dai looked freshly repainted, beautiful plants framing the entrance door and red lights giving the whole front of the restaurant a warm and welcoming glow. Eiji gave his helmet to Ash, who smiled back at him with bright eyes. He clearly had enjoyed the ride, too. He took out their accessories from under the seat.

“So, how was it?”

“It was awesome,” Eiji answered, grinning. “I can’t believe I rode a motorcycle for the first time in my life, and in New York City on top of that!” 

They both laughed, but were suddenly interrupted by a scathing voice. 

“What’s the point of making such a dramatic entrance if you’ll end up crying by the end of the night anyway?”

Ash tensed, and sighed. Eiji turned to see who was making Ash that uncomfortable, and saw a woman with long, jet black hair standing, arms crossed. For some reason, her body looked fragile, but dominance was exuding from her posture. Her features were delicate - a real porcelain doll. But an evil one. And it wasn’t just from the ghoulish makeup and costume she was wearing.

_ Wait. It’s not a woman. He has feminine features, but it’s definitely a man. _

“Nice to see you again too, Yut-Lung. Of course, you must be Sing’s plus one.”

“I’m hardly a plus one. More like the main attraction,” Yut-Lung replied before walking away. 

Ash gently squeezed Eiji’s elbow, and followed the footsteps of the mysterious man.  The three of them entered at the same time, before a familiar voice greeted the long-haired man. 

“Hey, Yue! I’m over here!”

“Sing?!” Eiji exclaimed, recognizing this familiar voice right away. In the corner of his eye, he saw Ash frowning as Sing got up from his stool and walked towards them. “What are you doing here?” Eiji went on, “I didn’t know you were coming! Wait. What are  _ you  _ doing here for real?” 

Sing grinned and scratched the back of his neck, visibly relishing in his friend’s confusion. He was dressed as a ghost, the bandages wrapped around his neck drenched in what Eiji hoped was fake blood.

“What the hell, Sing? Do you two know each other?” Ash groaned.

“Hell yes we do! Don’t thank me by the way, it was  _ my _ pleasure!”

“Thank you? Why? For what?” Ash asked, probably as irritated as Eiji was confused. 

Eiji didn’t know what exactly was going on here, except pure chaos. But upon hearing Sing talking about  _ thanking him _ , he realized he probably had to say something, and quickly.

“Sing, I’m going to stop you right there!” Eiji threatened - at least, he was hoping it sounded like a threat. 

“Okay, can someone explain to me what the  _ HELL  _ is happening here?” Ash asked, slowly losing his temper. 

Eiji had never seen him so annoyed before. It was a new side of him - a  _ hot  _ side. 

“What’s happening is that you’ve been played, white boy,” Yut-Lung commented, taking a sip of his drink. 

“No, not ‘played’,” Sing corrected. “That sounds too bad! But  _ this  _ was a good thing!”

Ash was already opening his mouth to retort and ask for more of an explanation, but was cut off when a muscular pair of arms appeared over both Ash and Eiji’s shoulders. The next thing Eiji knew, a purple mohawk was poking his eye out. 

“ _ Heeeeeello _ there! I’m so glad you’re both here! Seems like everyone’s already fired up! Come with me, I’ll show you to the changing rooms. No peeking though!”

And just like that, Eiji met Shorter. He was dressed as a zombie, complete with stitches on his head and a bolt hanging from his left temple. Shorter walked them across the room, pushing past Yut-Lung and Sing, to a door opening into an impromptu locker room of some sort.

“So, now that it’s calmer: Hi Eiji, I’m Shorter! It’s so nice to meet you! This walking blond disaster over here just  _ wouldn’t  _ introduce us,” the purple-haired man said, shaking his head in disappointment. “Can you believe that I had to organize a  _ whole  _ party just to be able to see you!”

Ash’s groans were growing louder and louder as Shorter spoke, and Eiji could not help but burst out of laughter. The dynamic between those two was harmoniously chaotic. They started picking at each other, and Eiji soon relished in witnessing how good friends Ash and Shorter were - it was obvious just by looking at them and seeing how they acted around each other. 

“Don’t act like you planned this party only to meet Eiji!” Ash was threatening Shorter with his finger. It was hilarious to watch. 

“Well, maybe I did! It’s not like you gave me the choice, dickhead!” Shorter retorted and Ash rolled his eyes. “Anyway, how about I let you both change, huh? There are lockers here to store your things. Hurry up so I can finally blast some music!!”

Ash let out a deep sigh after his best friend marched out of the room. “I’m sorry, he’s a bit… extra sometimes. You’ll get used to it.” Eiji didn’t even have the time to respond as Ash continued, “Also, what the  _ fuck _ ? How do you even know the other brat?!”

“Sing?” Eiji answered, and Ash nodded. “He’s my… exchange mentor at the university.”

Just like in a western movie, a rolling tumbleweed could have passed by with the wind. Ash remained silent a moment. Slowly, he seemed to realize that Eiji was serious, and he snorted.

“Mentor? Mentor, like,  _ MENTOR _ ?!” Ash finally exclaimed, half choking to repress his laughter. “But why did you never mention it?!”

“But I did!” Eiji retorted while putting his witch hat on. “I mentioned him a few times, I’m sure of it! But lately, we… well, we’ve been hanging out a lot, you and me, so I mostly only see him for our weekly checkup and…” Eiji’s sentence died out when he saw Ash, his vampire cloak on, putting white fangs above his teeth. Somehow, even in a dollar store Halloween costume, he looked charming. 

_ Of course he does.  _

As the night went on, conversations became slurred, and empty bottles of alcohol adorned almost every flat surface. Eiji himself was feeling a bit dizzy and hot - and it was not only because of Ash and his white fangs melting his heart. Shorter was the perfect host and the party was in full swing. 

In the middle of Shorter’s dance and R’n’B music, the famous 'This is Halloween' song started playing out of the blue. Eiji wondered if he had landed in a movie or something. Suddenly, all the lights went out and only a few luminous decorations and some candles burning inside carved pumpkins were left to light the huge room. People started wailing like ghosts and playing with the shadows of the pumpkins on the walls. Eiji giggled under his breath at Sing trying to scare Yut-Lung - it seemed like his friend was really into this cryptic guy. 

_ Am I that obvious around Ash? _

In Sing’s defence, the alcohol was probably not helping. He looked completely enraptured by the long-haired man, although the latter didn’t seem to be much bothered by the other’s presence. Yet, at times, imperceptibly, Yue’s face would soften a little. But Sing was probably too tipsy to notice that his crush was into him, too. In his own twisted way. 

Eiji resisted the urge to mess with his friend a little - he would save that for later. He would need to have a talk with Sing at some point anyway: this sly fox owed him an explanation for pushing him into Ash’s arms. 

_ Ash. Where is he? _

A quick glance around the room was enough for Eiji to notice that Ash’s silhouette wasn’t amongst the guests. He walked to the back, opening the door leading to the kitchen, and slammed it shut again immediately after seeing a couple making out against the fridge. At least the sight made Eiji sober up a little. 

Turning around, he remembered the locker room and crossed the restaurant in the opposite direction to find it again. He opened the door more discreetly this time - just in case - and took a peek inside. The room was empty and shadowy, only slightly illuminated by three small windows letting light from the streetlights inside. Eiji was about to close the door again when he heard a muffled sniffle. And suddenly, as clear as day, he noticed blond hair in a corner of the room, illuminated by the streetlights. 

He entered cautiously and shut the door.

“Ash..?” Eiji called in a whisper. 

Ash jolted and lifted his head up. Eiji froze at the sight in front of him. Ash was sitting, knees to his chin, in the corner of the back of the room. His face was distorted in what looked like pure panic. His wet cheeks were glowing under the reflection of the street lights.

“Ash! Are you okay?!” Eiji exclaimed, rushing to the blond man prostrated in the corner and kneeling next to him. The cloak and the white fangs were laying to Ash’s side.

“Eiji…” 

Ash’s voice was faint and shaky. Something inside Eiji’s heart broke. He took Ash’s head between his hands and pulled him against his chest. 

“Eiji, what are you doing here..?” Ash whispered, his voice muffled in Eiji’s shirt. 

“I was looking for you. One minute you were there, and the second, you were gone. You got me worried for a moment,” Eiji answered, still holding Ash tight against him. They stayed silent a few seconds and, noticing how the sobs were slowly calming down, Eiji finally dared to ask. “What happened, Ash?”

No answer. 

“Ash?”  _ Has he fallen asleep? _

“Don’t laugh,” Ash said, and his voice sounded hoarser than usual, but already closer to normal than before -  _ thank god.  _

“What?”

“ _Promise_ you won’t laugh.”

“I… I promise,” Eiji answered, squeezing Ash’s shoulders to enhance his statement, since Ash still had his head buried in his chest. 

“The pumpkins,” Ash admitted.

“...The pumpkins?” Eiji repeated, not sure to understand.

“Yes, the pumpkins.”

“You’re…afraid of the pumpkins?”

“I am. Don’t ask.” 

_ Oh. I thought he got scared because of the dark. But... _

“Why the hell would you take me to a Halloween party if you are afraid of pumpkins?! We could literally have done anything else! What’s even the point if you end up in such a state?” Eiji cried out, suddenly grabbing Ash’s shoulders so that they were facing each other. He was feeling angry for some reason. “If you don’t tell me those things, how am I supposed to help and protect you?!” 

Realizing what he had just said, redness invaded Eiji’s cheeks and gradually spread across his whole face. Ash was looking at him just like a child, eyes wide and bright, completely bewildered. Eiji sighed and loosened his grip on Ash’s shoulders. He sat next to him, back leaning against the wall. The other man still hadn’t moved an inch. 

“Sorry, I’m probably not helping. It’s just… I mean... You should have tol-”

Eiji let out a silent gasp when Ash laid completely on his lap. 

“Thank you, Eiji,” Ash said. Warmth filled Eiji’s heart. Observing the light reflecting in Ash’s hair, the sudden urge to touch him became overwhelming. Gently, Eiji buried his hand in the soft hair and started playing with the blond strands, combing them with his fingers. 

Eiji really couldn’t say if seconds, minutes, or hours had passed with him playing with Ash’s hair, and Ash laying on his lap. The doors of the lockers vibrated against the heavy bass music coming from the other room. At some point, Eiji heard Sing calling him from far away, his voice barely audible above the loud music.

“Coming!” Eiji screamed back, aware that his friend probably couldn’t hear him.

“Eiji..?” Ash asked, his eyes closed. 

“Mmh?” Eiji murmured. 

“Can we stay like this a little more..?” 

If his red motorcycle, the cloak and the white fangs had claimed Eiji’s heart - this was the  _ coup de grace _ . There was no turning back now. He had fallen for this man right here - and he had fallen  _ hard _ . 

“Of course,” Eiji whispered back. “We’ll stay here as long as you want.”

And this time, only a few seconds had passed when Ash spoke again. 

“Eiji?”

“Yeah?” Eiji answered, as Ash slowly sat up and turned to him. Maybe it was because of the previous tears, but Ash’s jade eyes seemed brighter than ever as he looked into Eiji’s own.

“Can I kiss you?”

_ Please do. I’m begging.  _

“Of course.”

At that moment, for sure, the dizziness and warmth Eiji was feeling were not caused by the alcohol. When Ash took Eiji’s chin between his fingers, his thumb slightly brushing over Eiji’s lower lip, the Japanese boy lost it. 

Leaning forward, he met Ash’s mouth halfway. This eager and clumsy first kiss soon turned into a passionate embrace as Ash pulled Eiji closer to him so that he could straddle Ash’s lap. Their lips slightly parted and tongues started searching for the other - and maybe alcohol was helping a bit in the end, because never before had Eiji been so openly and unabashedly carried away by someone else’s touch. 

Or maybe he hadn’t, precisely because those  _ ‘someone else's’ _ were not Ash. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luckily for Ash, Halloween is finally over! A much more intimate (and pumpkin-free) holiday is coming up in Chapter 6, so get ready for some serious fluff ;)
> 
> Ash riding a motorbike with Eiji is a reference to one of our favourite AshEiji fics, 'To Nirvana' by @OurLadyGrem. Please check it out later!


	6. The First Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Balvana's beautiful [artwork](https://imgur.com/a/BMDHyuF)

Days after the party, Ash’s lips still burned from his kiss with Eiji. Although he still felt embarrassed about his semi-drunken pumpkin breakdown, the sense of wholeness Ash felt as he pressed his lips against Eiji’s own was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. His mind replayed the scene again and again, each time Ash feeling dizzy with excitement over the prospect of doing it again. 

However, something dark and unpleasant had started to gnaw away within him. He’d scarcely heard from Eiji over the past few days. Initially, he’d written off Eiji’s coolness as exhaustion from his university work. It was almost exam time after all, so no doubt Eiji would be busy studying and working on his final assessments. 

However, as the days passed, Eiji’s texts back to Ash seemed short and guarded. He turned down Ash’s invitations to hang out, and didn’t pick up when Ash called him. Sometimes, he didn’t reply to Ash’s messages at all. Hysteria ignited deep inside him. He could feel bile rise in his throat as he envisioned all of the possible reasons why Eiji wasn’t talking to him.

Had Ash done something wrong? Had he overstepped a boundary that he wasn’t aware of? Maybe Eiji didn’t want to kiss him, but felt obligated to, and had grown to regret it. Maybe he was tired of spending time with Ash and didn’t want to live his life being hounded by journalists. 

_Maybe Eiji didn’t love Ash like Ash loved him._

Tears like acid burned in the corners of Ash’s eyes, his heart constricting in his chest as though it was bound by barbed wire. He attempted to blink back his tears - he had to get a grip. He had to know why Eiji was acting like this. He had to apologise for being so stupid and selfish. 

Ash grabbed his keys from the bowl on the counter and half ran out of his apartment, barely caring if he locked the door behind him. He had to at least go and see Eiji in person to apologise before guilt and doubt consumed him entirely. Cold wind bit at Ash’s neck and fingers, and his flimsy sweater did little to prevent his body heat from being sapped by the icy conditions around him. 

Twenty minutes later, Ash stood panting at the front of Eiji’s tiny on-campus studio apartment. The bricks were cracked and dated, and dull green paint flaked off the door revealing an ugly apricot coloured undercoat. Ash knocked, his entire stomach twisting as he heard rustling from inside. His back and forehead were clammy with sweat, and he didn’t even need to see himself to know that his nose and cheeks were burnt by the wind. 

The door cracked open.

“Ash?” Eiji’s voice was soft, his eyes widening. Ash wanted nothing more than to melt into Eiji’s arms and hold him, but weren’t those feelings precisely the reason that got Ash stuck in this situation to begin with?  
  


_“Eiji doesn’t love you,”_ a venomous little voice whispered inside his head. _“You shouldn’t have come here. Imagine how he’s feeling right now with you showing up on his doorstep like a lost dog. So selfis-”_

“-re you okay? Ash?” Ash felt Eiji’s hand on his wrist, tugging him into his shoebox of a home. “Ash please come inside, you need to warm up.”

Ash allowed himself to be pulled inside, pausing to kick his shoes off at the entrance, his whole body operating as though it were on autopilot as Eiji guided him towards the sofa and sat him down. Eiji picked up a coral fleece throw, decorated with that weird bird character he liked, and draped it around Ash’s shoulders.

“Thanks,” Ash mumbled, barely registering his voice as his own. 

Eiji sank down onto the seat next to him, his knees drawn to his chest and eyes focused on the threadbare carpet under them. 

Ash’s lungs quivered as he drew a breath. He should just come out and say it. Rip the bandaid off and spare Eiji his sorry heartbroken ass. “Eiji I have to apologise to you,” he started, each word feeling sharp against his tongue. “I understand why you aren’t talking to me. I’ve been so selfish this whole time. You’re so important to me. I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to kiss me.”

“Like I had to?” Eiji laughed humourlessly. “Ash, you are so silly. I’ve wanted to kiss you for ages, but now everything just hurts more.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ash,” Eiji’s voice broke as he wrapped his arms around his torso. “My study abroad period ends in December. I have to go back to Japan in early January.”

Ash felt his heart seize within his chest. He’d never considered the fact that Eiji had to return to Japan after he completed this semester of university. How had he not realized sooner? How had he been so stupid as to not even ask? He’d been so utterly caught up in enjoying every single moment with Eiji, he hadn’t even considered that their time together could be limited. 

“Eiji, you… You should have told me,” Ash sighed. “But I understand why you didn’t.” A small part of him was relieved that he hadn’t done anything to hurt Eiji, however just thinking about him leaving New York to return home felt like a physical force squeezing all of the air out of Ash’s lungs.  
  
“I know, I know...I just…” Eiji’s body jerked as he held himself, his smile bitter as he blinked through tears. “I just didn’t want to think about it...and now all I’ve done is hurt you. And I thought maybe you would forget about me if I put some distance between us, but…” Eiji snorted, his expression softening. “I admit, that was kind of dumb. And selfish.”

Ash smiled, feeling the tension beginning to lift. “Yeah, for someone going to university, I thought you would have been smarter.”

Eiji froze, narrowing his eyes. “Says the guy who’s afraid of pumpkins.”

“Don’t bring pumpkins into this,” Ash pouted, secretly relieved that Eiji felt good enough to tease him back. 

“Fine,” Eiji poked out his tongue, and Ash wondered whether it was actually legal for somebody to look that cute. 

“But Ash, I really am so sorry,” Eiji’s tone fell again, low and defeated, and the sickening tight feeling began to snake its way back into Ash’s chest. “I didn’t think I would fall for anybody when I came to America, but…” 

_What?_

Ash blinked, half wondering if he’d actually heard Eiji correctly. He willed himself to breathe normally as his emotions threatened to suffocate him. Happiness shouldn’t have to feel so utterly painful. 

“Well,” Ash started, shifting himself closer to Eiji. “I didn’t think I’d fall for anybody either, so I guess we are even on that front.”

Eiji’s tears continued to trail down his cheeks, gathering on his chin before falling to form tiny dark shapes on his jeans. Ash wrapped his arms around him, watching as the rigidity left Eiji’s shoulders as he melted against Ash, his breath slowing.

“It’s going to be okay, Eiji,” Ash murmured. “How about we make the most of our time together, and then figure things out from there?”

“Yes,” Eiji’s voice was hoarse as he moved closer to Ash, his breath warm against Ash’s neck. Ash met Eiji’s eyes, noticing how even though they were clouded by tears, the deep brown colour of his irises was still gentle as inviting as ever. “Can I...can I kiss you, Ash?”

“ _Please_.” Ash didn’t care that he sounded so desperate and needy, because honestly, he was. What seemed like his last breath left his lungs as Eiji pressed his lips against Ash’s own, the soft warmth of his skin more addicting than any drug Ash could think of.

Regardless of the circumstances under which they met, Ash did not regret falling in love with Eiji in the slightest. The stolen photograph, Eiji coming to Ash’s workplace to apologize, the journalists chasing them and even those goddamn pumpkins at Shorter’s restaurant…while in the moment Ash may not have realized it, it was these experiences that brought him and Eiji closer together than Ash ever could have imagined. 

As their kiss deepened, bodies pressed flush against each other, the anxious thoughts that had hounded Ash for the past few days became nothing more than a distant echo in his mind. Experiencing Eiji’s love was intoxicating; from the warmth of his lips to the gentleness of his touch, everything that was distinctly _Eiji_ just radiated love, and Ash was more than eager to return it.

*** * ***

The forbidden subject was not brought up again. 

November passed, and Eiji welcomed December with a bittersweet feeling. 

New York City had transformed itself into a Christmas wonderland. Eiji could barely comprehend how overnight the city had sprouted so many festive attractions - the Bryant Park ice skating rink, Rockefeller Christmas tree, Christmas markets and the never-ending rainbow of Christmas lights...the whole cityscape was nothing short of magical. Eiji had to pinch himself from time to time to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming. He half expected to see Santa and his reindeer on top of one of the apartments. 

As enchanting as the atmosphere was, there were moments when Eiji just couldn’t rejoice. Time was passing by and Eiji was enjoying himself, but each passing day also brought him closer to his return to Japan. Closer to his separation from Ash. And one thing was certain: the colder the days were getting, the stronger Eiji’s love for Ash was becoming. 

Eiji was serious when he had told Ash he wasn’t expecting to fall in love with anyone. What he did not anticipate though, was how _hard_ he seemed to have fallen. Every touch from Ash, every light kiss from Ash, every giggle and every joke filled Eiji with both sweet euphoria and awful dread at the idea of being separated from the man who had unexpectedly stolen his heart away. 

Eiji knew deep down that Ash was more or less feeling the same. That’s why the time they spent together was somehow tainted with melancholia, even without having parted yet. They wouldn’t talk about it, but Eiji’s departure was almost always hanging in the air at some point. One of them would quickly fade the sensation away with a kiss, or a smile. 

Most of the time, it was Ash’s doing. 

One evening in the middle of December, as Eiji feared for his life on the ice skating rink once again - he suspected Ash relished in having Eiji clinging onto him like he was a lifeline - Ash stared at Eiji as though he was holding back words.

“Wha…what is it? Do I have a runny nose?!” Eiji asked, cursing himself internally for worrying so much about his appearance since Ash entered his life.

Ash smirked. “And what if you do?” 

“Oh no! Please hand me a tissue!!” 

Ash laughed out loud, and Eiji thought to himself that if he could hear Ash’s laugh like that, he really didn’t mind having a runny nose for the rest of his life. 

“Just kidding, Eiji. I was looking at you and wondering if I would end up asking what I want to ask.”

“Eh?” Eiji squinted. _What was with that cryptic behaviour?_ “I don’t like the sound of that,” he added, while stumbling on his skates to get closer to Ash. Unfortunately, the blade got stuck into a small hole dug in the ice and Eiji lost his balance. _This is finally it,_ he thought, _I’m going to die from a head injury due to my own clumsiness._

His sudden panic made him forget about Ash’s princely manners, as he caught Eiji mid-fall, drawing him close to his chest. Eiji felt Ash’s warm breath against his cheek, and they stared at each other this way for a moment - Eiji wrapped in Ash’s embrace, each of them looking at the other as if it was their sole point of gravity. 

“Eiji,” Ash whispered, “do you have something planned next weekend?”

“Next weekend?” They could have been standing in the middle of a busy highway and Eiji would still have felt like this was only the two of them, alone. “You mean, Christmas?”

“Yes, Christmas.” 

“Well, I… I don’t have any plans, I mean… Sing offered to have me over for Christmas Eve if I was alone, but…” _I was hoping to spend it with you._

“Perfect. I’d like to take you somewhere, if you don’t mind.”

“You will not tell me where though, am I right?” Eiji pouted. 

“Ouch! Am I that predictable?” Ash replied, faking disappointment. 

Just like that, it was settled. Eiji passed his semester with such high marks that he got praised by almost all of his teachers. Sing was so impressed that he even paid for Eiji’s weekly cheesecake slice and hot chocolate - which was quite telling, considering the abysmal state Sing’s savings were always in. 

And then, on December 24th, after a five hour drive, Ash parked in front of a charming country house.

“We’re here,” Ash said. “This is my late brother’s house. I’ve already told you that I didn’t know my mother and I cut ties with my father a long time ago, so… Well, Griffin was the most precious person in my life.” Ash’s voice was a bit higher than usual, but apart from that, he was good at keeping a straight face. “And even if you can’t meet him, I used to spend most of my Christmas with him in this house, and… that’s why I wanted to bring you here, because I want this place to be filled with my two favorite people in…”

That was it, Eiji just couldn’t take this any longer. He interrupted Ash in his moving explanation and unbuckled his seatbelt, almost jumping from his seat to cross the distance separating him from the other man because of the gear lever and hand brake. Grabbing Ash’s face between his hands, Eiji kissed the blond boy eagerly, hoping to convey all the passion, love and gratefulness he was feeling at that very moment. 

“I love you, Ash. I’m sorry for interrupting you. But I had to say it. I love you. Thank you for bringing me here. I can’t wait to meet your brother.”

Ash’s eyes filled with tears of gratitude. “Eiji…” he whispered, burying his head in the crook of his neck. “I love you too.”

  
  


*** * ***

Ash couldn’t call this writer’s block - really, this wasn’t it - but for the first time in his life, he was absolutely unable to think of _any_ kind of words to describe how he was feeling at that moment. Watching the person he loved most inside Griffin’s house was beyond endearing. Ash was ready to combust each time Eiji fumbled around in the kitchen drawers for utensils to cook with, humming along to whatever song was playing on the radio at the time. It was so heartbreakingly domestic.

Eiji was happily bustling in the kitchen since the both of them had agreed on a “mixed meal” for Christmas Eve dinner: half-Japanese and half-American dishes were on the menu. Ash had already done his part and was now enjoying this free time to write a bit since he felt in the mood - at least, he was trying to persuade himself so, because he was well aware that he spent more time looking at Eiji from the living room than actually writing. 

Ash’s phone rang with a video call, and Max’s overexcited face appeared on his screen just seconds later. 

_“Ash! Merry Christmas kid!”_ his publisher’s voice boomed, Ash covertly adjusting the volume on his phone to save the speakers from blowing up.

“Hi Max, Merry Christmas to you too.” Ash couldn’t help but smile. Even though Max could be a pain, he still was the closest thing to a father figure Ash had left.

_“Wait...you’re not at Griff’s, are you?”_

“Yeah, I am. I brought Eiji along. We’re celebrating Christmas here.” 

Max stayed silent for a few seconds, before granting Ash with what looked like an emotional smile. _“That’s great, kiddo. I’m glad. Griff would be so happy to have you there. With Eiji, too.”_

“Yeah, I know.”

 _“ASH!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!”_ Max’s son, Michael yelled, his excited face taking up the entire screen.

“Hey buddy! Merry Christmas! I hope Santa will spoil you this year,” Ash laughed.

 _“Doesn’t he always…”_ Max mumbled. _“Anyway, I just wanted to wish you Merry Christmas! Enjoy your time with Eiji then, and say hi to him for me, would’ya?”_

“Of course. Say hi to Jess as well. See you soon, Max. Merry Christmas.” 

While Eiji was still fussing in the kitchen, Ash snuck off to the bedroom to wrap Eiji’s present. He had managed to find what he was looking for only at the last moment.

“Ash?” Eiji called him from afar. 

_Shit._

“I’m coming in a minute!”

“I’ve finished the cooking, hurry up or I’ll drag you down here!” 

Ash couldn’t help but sigh at his answer. As efficient as Eiji was, Ash didn’t want him to barge into their room and spoil his surprise for tomorrow. He continued his battle with the tape and wrapping paper, cursing himself for not being better at gift wrapping. It didn’t look nearly as hard as it was in practice. Defeated, Ash snapped a photo of the wrapped present and sent it to Shorter. At least he’d get a kick out of Ash’s bird’s nest of an attempt.

**Ash** : 18:07 (image attached) _Eiji’s present. How do you actually wrap presents and not make it look terrible?_

 **Shorter** : 18:10 _Finally! something you’re NOT good at. Have funnnnnn ;)_

Ash turned his phone off after the first slew of eggplant and splash emojis Shorter sent him. He was already nervous enough about sharing a bed with Eiji tonight, and the last thing he needed was Shorter getting inside his head.

“Aaaaaaaash!” Eiji called out again. “Your food is going cold. Don’t make me-”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Ash replied, Eiji’s gift tucked under his arm. He really hoped Eiji liked it, his horrendous attempt at wrapping the present aside.

After putting his present behind the lounge, Ash entered the kitchen and was taken aback by the amount of food Eiji had cooked. It smelled amazing, but god there was enough to feed at least five people.

“Finally!” Eiji grinned, passing a plate to Ash. “And before you ask, yes I left natto out this time-”

“Thank _god_.”

“-but next time you won’t be so lucky.”

_Next time…_

Ash felt his chest tighten at those words, but smiled through the uncomfortable feeling that lingered inside of him. 

_Don’t dwell, it won’t change anything._

“This really does look amazing, Eiji,” Ash continued, grinning at the way the other boy’s chest puffed out at the praise. “I guess we’ll have more than enough leftovers for tomorrow, and probably the next day too.”

Eiji took the seat across from Ash, smirking at him as he filled up his plate with tempura prawns and roasted vegetables. “Ash you sound so old.”

“I’m just enjoying domestic life.”

“I should have blended up your food then.”

“At least you didn’t offer to chew it for me.”

“You’re gross!”

After dinner, the two sat together on the lounge room floor, the room illuminated by the orange glow of the fireplace. Neither of them spoke; it was enough to enjoy each other’s presence and watch the flames lick at the charred log in front of them. 

“Eiji,” Ash murmured, his head resting against the older boy’s shoulder.

“Hm?”

“Can I give you your present now? Christmas Day is only like an hour away.”

“You didn’t need to get me anything Ash,” Eiji ran his fingers through Ash’s hair, his touch light and reassuring. Ash knew he’d need to move soon, otherwise he’d never be able to pull away from Eiji’s touch. “Just spending time with you is more than enough.”

“Well, I got you something small anyway.”

“Then I’ll get my gift for you too.”

“Eiji, I told you not to get me anything!” Ash whined, reluctantly pulling away from Eiji to collect his present from behind the lounge. He pulled a face as he looked at the state of the wrapping paper, redirecting his thoughts to the situation at present before he gave too much thought to Shorter’s lascivious text messages.

“And I told you the exact same thing, Ash!” Eiji’s face was scrunched into a cute pout as he held Ash’s present against his chest. Of course, Ash thought, the wrapping on Eiji’s present was immaculate. The box was wrapped in thick paper that was a deep crimson red, embossed with tiny golden stars that shimmered when the light hit them. 

Ash felt himself die a little inside as he risked a glance back down at the paper monstrosity in his hands. “I’m sorry my present looks so ugly,” he started, narrowing his eyes as Eiji’s hand flew to his mouth to stifle a laugh. “But clearly I’m better at writing things on paper than folding it. Anyway, I hope you like it.” Heat crept into Ash’s cheeks as he handed the present to Eiji, averting his gaze from the sweet smile that spread across the other boy’s face so that he didn’t combust.

“Thank you,” Eiji laughed. “Did you wrap this with your eyes closed?”

“I’m never living this down, am I?” 

“Never. Here.” Eiji handed Ash his present. 

“Thanks. You open yours first though.”

Ash watched Eiji delicately unstick the tape from the paper, taking so much time and care unwrapping the present that it looked like he was performing a complicated medical procedure.

“Ash!” Eiji’s eyes widened as he held up the vintage Polaroid camera. “Where did you find this?! I’ve been looking for this model forever!”

“I have my sources,” Ash grinned, watching on fondly as Eiji opened the box and took out the camera and film, examining the lens and buttons like a curious child. Ash’s heart ached with longing for Eiji. Despite the short time they had known each other, Ash had never felt closer to anybody in his whole life, yet they had just a few days left before Eiji returned to Japan.

 _Don’t think about this now. Enjoy this moment together._

“This really must have cost a fortune,” Eiji continued, excited words tumbling out of his mouth. “You’re crazy though, spending this much money on me!”

“How lame would it sound if I said I was crazy about _you_?”

Ash laughed at the blush that stained Eiji’s cheeks as he teased him for being so embarrassing. He hoped Eiji knew that he meant every word.

“Anyway, Ash, time to open _your_ present.” Eiji pushed the gift towards Ash, his eyes focused on the loose thread hanging on the cuff of his sweater as his cheeks darkened even further. “I...I hope you like it.”

Ash unwrapped his gift with the same amount of care that Eiji had taken to unwrap his own, his fingers working under the sticky tape to separate it from the paper as smoothly as he could. 

He first saw a small wooden box that was inked with kanji characters, sitting on top of what appeared to be another wrapped present. Intrigued, Ash lifted the lid of the box, before his hand flew to his mouth.

“How did you afford a Nakaya pen?” he exclaimed, holding the black fountain pen in his hands. It was stunning, and even had a tiny silver lynx crouching on the pen cap. He didn’t even want to think about how much Eiji had paid for this. “Eiji...this is...beautiful…” Ash never thought he’d be so emotional over a pen, but this was so much more than just a writing utensil. It was a personalised work of art. “... _Please_ don’t tell me this sent you broke.”

“I wanted my favourite writer to have one of the best pens in Japan,” Eiji explained, his voice bashful. “And before you worry about how much it cost me, my sister posted it to me and got it a lot cheaper than you can here in the US. Now open your next present.”

“Next present?!” Ash choked. “God, you’re spoiling me.” He tucked the pen back inside its box and began to open the second gift. 

If it weren’t for Eiji’s hand on his thigh, which somehow kept him grounded, Ash was sure his soul would have left his body the second he laid eyes on Eiji’s next present. It was a framed picture of the two of them, taken by Eiji on one of their afternoons at the library. Ash had his arm around Eiji’s shoulders, smiling at him, while Eiji stifled the laugh he’d been repressing from the librarian who kept shooting him looks for making too much noise. 

To an outsider, the photograph would appear simple enough. For anyone who knew Ash, it was obvious just how smitten he was. But for Ash himself, this picture was tangible proof that his relationship with Eiji was real, that what they were feeling for each other was more than just a passing infatuation. Their love for one another ran deeper than Ash could ever have described with words alone.

Ash wondered what he had done to deserve someone so perfect, so genuine and kind that just enjoying his presence made the world seem like a better place. He ran the pad of his thumb over Eiji’s bottom lip, savouring the low sigh that escaped the other boy’s mouth. Eiji relaxed into his touch, pressing his lips against Ash’s own with a fervour that Ash had never felt before. He kissed Eiji back with equal intensity, his tongue dipping into the warm wetness of Eiji’s mouth while the rest of the world was reduced to nothing more than a blur.

“Eiji,” Ash gasped, his name akin to a prayer on Ash’s tongue as their kisses deepened. His skin glowed with heat, becoming increasingly sensitive with every touch as Eiji slid a hand under Ash’s sweater. His body trembled at the sensation but was fuelled by the urge to touch Eiji back, to make him feel more loved than anyone had ever made him feel before. Desire coursed through Ash’s veins, white, hot and demanding. He needed Eiji, just as much as Eiji needed him. 

“Let me be with you tonight, Ash,” Eiji murmured, his forehead pressed against Ash’s chest. “Please.”

“I want nothing more,” Ash panted, cupping the frame of Eiji’s face in his hands. “And I promise you, I will never let you go.”

  
***

When Eiji woke up, it was hard to tell where his body began and where Ash’s body ended. Their legs were an entangled mess, and Eiji could feel the warmth radiating from Ash’s porcelain skin, contrasting against his own darker complexion. The grey cotton sheets were soft against him, and Eiji couldn’t help but think about how happy he would be waking up like this every morning. 

He blushed furiously when the memories, feelings and sensations from the previous night came to his mind. Ash’s arms. Ash’s lips. Ash’s touch. Pure bliss. There were no other words. 

Turning his head to face Ash, Eiji’s blush was quickly replaced by a fond smile. Ash was sleeping peacefully, the first timid rays of the sun sneaking into the room through the curtains, reflecting off his hair. Love literally washed over Eiji as he looked at this man - a writer, a friend, _a lover_ … 

Eiji had partners in the past. He even had one or two rather serious relationships. But for the first time that night, he had felt such a deep connection to Ash that he almost got dizzy just thinking about it again. Had Eiji been an idealist, he would have believed that every decision in his life, from choosing to study photography to coming to NYC were meant to lead to this very moment. 

He brushed Ash’s cheek with his fingertips, careful not to wake him up. It was his understanding that Ash was a person who needed his sleep and that he was _not_ to be disturbed too early in the morning. That was completely fine for Eiji though - he would be quite happy just to stay in bed and stay close to him. 

Eiji placed a kiss on Ash’s forehead before getting out of the comforting warmth of the bed. The floor was cold under his feet, and for a second he considered just getting back in with Ash and staying there for the rest of the day. He grabbed some pants, claimed ownership of Ash’s sweatshirt, and tip-toed out of the bedroom. 

Frost was biting the windows of the living room and Eiji hastily fed the dying fire in the fireplace with a few logs. On his way to the kitchen, Eiji couldn’t help but glance at the sheets of paper scattered on the desk in the study. They appeared to be inked with Ash’s elegant handwriting. Ash had asked Eiji for his opinion on writing before - just about some sentences, or ideas. But as a non-native English speaker, Eiji didn’t feel like he was capable of helping Ash much. He was always thrilled to discuss it with him, though - but never did he ask to read Ash’s manuscript, and he had only read a few chapters of _A Perfect Day_. The last thing Eiji wanted was to be intrusive. He would rather let Ash come to him with his writing when he was feeling like it. 

But at this very moment, Eiji couldn’t help but feel drawn towards the words on the paper. He started to read, his eyes widening. 

_“A storm, an earthquake - what else can you call it? When you look at the other, and somehow the light they exude makes your eyes water, as if you had been staring right into the sun. Were the planets already aligned? Were there already so many stars in the sky? Who, or what was keeping you grounded all those years before_ **_they_ ** _appeared and called you back to the laws of gravity?”_

Eiji had goosebumps, and it wasn’t because of the cold. So this was what Ash had been writing while Eiji was busy in the kitchen the previous day. _Of course._ Ash was so intense as a person - Eiji should have expected his writing to be just as powerful. Eiji didn’t know how long he stood there reading those words over and over again, feeling just as much as reading them. Finally, he tore himself away from Ash’s work and started to find ingredients for pancakes in the kitchen. He was determined on showering Ash with as much of his love as possible before his dreaded departure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with us so far! We hope you’re as excited for the last chapter as we were writing it!! See you tomorrow for the 7th and final chapter: The Departure!


	7. The Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We would like to express our sincerest thanks to Balvana! We absolutely loved collaborating with you, and cannot thank you enough for allowing us to write a fic to accompany your beautiful art. Thank you!
> 
> [Balvana's artwork](https://imgur.com/a/BMDHyuF) features as a photograph in this chapter, and it should be quite obvious when and where!
> 
> Enjoy!

Eiji’s time with Ash at Cape Cod felt like a dream as New Year’s Eve brought both of them back to reality. New York was buried under a thick blanket of snow, and seemed to soften the signature metropolitan chaos of the cityscape. It was as though winter had frozen time, and Eiji wholeheartedly wished that this was true. Ever since they had returned to New York, he’d been spending his days at Ash’s apartment. _And_ his nights. 

Whenever Eiji brought up his small student’s studio, Ash just wouldn’t hear it. He assured Eiji that he wasn’t imposing at all, and Ash even accompanied him to bring more of his belongings back to his apartment. Eiji’s classes were over anyway - there was no need for him to remain on campus. It was like a ghost-town there anyway during the break. Almost all of the students who lived on campus had returned home.

To Eiji’s delight, Ash really wasn’t planning on letting go, just like he promised on Christmas Eve. Every morning in bed he’d pull Eiji closer to him, still half asleep as he buried his nose in the crook of Eiji’s neck. Ash was so peaceful when he was sleeping, and Eiji felt his body glow with warmth as he felt Ash exhale, his breath warm and gentle against his bare skin. No matter how long they stayed like this, holding each other, kissing each other, adoring every minute together, it was never long enough. Eiji craved Ash’s touch, it was the only way he could push back the thought of his inevitable return to Japan. Ash was more than happy to oblige. He understood too.

More than once, Eiji and Ash talked about Ash coming to visit him in Japan. They hadn’t discussed exact dates, but they would bring this up from time to time, as if to persuade themselves that their impending separation wasn’t such a big deal. Eiji had even come close to asking Ash to just come to Japan, _period_. Not visiting. Coming. And staying. With him. But he was afraid that he’d sound like a smitten high schooler. He didn’t want Ash to feel pressured into making a major life decision, nor did he want to freak him out by appearing to be clingy. 

One morning, Eiji finally acquainted himself with what he called “bad mood Ash.” Shorter made the unforgivable mistake of calling Ash before 10am to invite them over for New Year’s Eve, and Ash was sleepy and irritable for the rest of the day. Eiji cherished those moments, though. The good, the bad, the angry, funny, sassy: he wanted to see all sides of Ash before heading back to Japan. 

They arrived at Chang Dai at 8pm, the restaurant adorned with New Year’s Eve decorations. The interior was dimly lit, with strings of fairy lights adorning almost every surface. The golden dragons decorating the walls looked as though they were moving as the lights flickered against them, every individual scale on their body illuminated.

“Hey Ash! Eiji!” Shorter yelled above the music as he made his way over towards the two, wearing his trademark grin. 

“Hi Shorter,” Eiji smiled, watching Ash’s mood immediately brighten as Shorter shoved a plate of food into his hands. He couldn’t help but laugh.

“He gets low blood pressure in the mornings, so you have to feed him up or he’ll be a grumpy old man all day,” Shorter explained to Eiji with a wink, passing Eiji his own plate.

“It’s night Shorter, and you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ash sighed, picking up a napkin to start eating the spring roll in front of him. 

“Who cares? I’m a chef, not a doctor. Now eat up so you can start drinking, or else Eiji will have to put up with your sorry drunk ass for the rest of the night.”   
  
“Isn’t Chinese New Year later in January?” Eiji asked, once Shorter had left to greet more guests.

“Yeah, but he gets to have two parties this way. You know how he is...”

Eiji laughed and left Ash to pour himself some punch, his eyes scanning the room for anyone else that he knew.

“Eiji!” Sing slung an arm around his neck, a red plastic cup grasped in his other hand. “Where’ve you been lately? I didn’t see you on campus.”

“I’ve been staying with Ash,” he replied, feeling his body temperature increase as Sing’s grin widened. 

“ _Nice._ Told’ya I was the best matchmaker in town.” Although the memory of Sing texting Ash on his behalf made Eiji’s skin crawl with embarrassment, he had to hand it to him. Sing truly had outdone himself in the relationship department this time, and Eiji knew he’d never hear the end of it.

“Sing, stop breathing alcohol into Eiji’s face. He’ll get drunk off the fumes.” Yut-Lung stood across from them, a glass of champagne clasped delicately in his hand as he removed Sing’s arm from Eiji’s shoulder.

Sing narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t seem to mind too much earlier.”

“You don’t have to announce it to the public like that,” Yut-Lung snapped, his harsh tone undermined by the pink that stained his cheeks. He took another sip of his drink, apparently eager to change the subject. “Eiji, when are you leaving for Japan?”

“Monday the third of January, so… in three days.” Saying it out loud was hitting way harder than Eiji thought. 

“Must be difficult for you, leaving after meeting all of us - especially me, of course. I’m quite life-changing.”

Sing snorted and Yut-Lung glared at him. Eiji didn’t know whether to laugh or down more of his drink. Yut-Lung really was something else entirely. 

“Speaking of, Yue,” Sing continued, “I’m taking Eiji at the airport that day since Ash isn’t available. Do y’wanna come with us?”

Eiji didn’t hear the rest of their exchange. He felt too overcome by the wave of sadness that flooded his body at the mention of Ash not being there. He understood, of course. Ash was a rising star in the literary world, and he couldn’t turn down a meeting with a possible investor just to see Eiji off at the airport. Especially not after all the time he’d taken off to work through his writer’s block, and his bad track record of attending meetings and interviews. Not to mention that Max would probably make Ash’s life a living hell if he didn’t show up. Ash had apologised profusely to Eiji and promised he’d make it up to him, but he still felt sick at the thought of getting on the plane without Ash being there with him. 

Right on cue, Ash joined them, sliding his arm around Eiji’s waist. Some of the tension left his shoulders, but the dormant pain he’d so far managed to keep locked away remained. Eiji looked at Ash and was struck once again by the way his crimson turtleneck complimented the green of his eyes. It was literally impossible for any colour not to suit him. 

“You okay?” Ash murmured against Eiji’s ear. Sing and Yut-Lung were busy teasing each other, and were so enraptured with their exchange that they didn’t even notice Ash.

Eiji nodded, pressing back against Ash. He had to be okay. He had to make the most of what little time he and Ash had left together. 

After a few hours of eating, drinking and watching Sing’s dance moves progress from being harmless and embarrassing, to bordering on dangerous, Shorter reappeared. 

He inhaled, cupping one hand around his mouth while his other grabbed Sing by the back of his shirt collar just seconds before the attempted The Worm. 

“Come on guys, it’s almost time! Let’s launch the best fireworks in Chinatown!” he announced. Shorter’s excitement was infectious, and Eiji felt his heart racing with anticipation. He loved fireworks, and brightly coloured explosions with his beloved seemed to be the perfect way to take his mind off things for a while. 

After they put their coats on, Ash led Eiji by the hand and they stepped outside with the others. Shorter and Sing were fussing around with the fireworks and firecrackers, while Yut-Lung had taken a step back from the warzone. 

“How can it be snowing _again_?” Yut-Lung grumbled. “I hate snow. Snow means that it’s too cold outside to rain. And if it’s too cold outside to rain, then it means that I shouldn’t have to endure these barbarous temperatures.”

Ash rolled his eyes and Eiji just laughed as he saw Yut-Lung ready his phone camera from the corner of his eye.

“I’m gonna help those idiots,” Ash whispered, before leaving a light kiss on Eiji’s temple. 

“Okay, but if your coat goes up in flames, I’m not lending you mine,” Eiji taunted. As a reply, Ash pulled Eiji’s purple beanie over his eyes.

When Ash kneeled down next to Sing, helping him setting a flare in a bottle - for more steadiness and less danger - Eiji couldn’t help but giggle. Maybe Ash’s coat wouldn’t catch fire, but it would definitely end up being soaked if he kept kneeling in the snow like that. 

“Are we good?! Are we good?!” Shorter asked around, checking if everyone was there. “Who has the countdown! We need the countdown!” 

“Here it is!!” Sing exclaimed, brandishing his phone like a weapon. “5…”

“4!!!” Shorter yelled.

“3,” Yue mumbled.

“2,” Ash said, turning to Eiji and locking their eyes together. 

“1…” Eiji whispered. 

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!”

It was hard to say who shouted the loudest between Sing and Shorter, but Eiji scarcely heard them. All he could focus on was the sensation of Ash’s mouth against his. The kiss was tender and loving, but at the same time, there was a sense of urgency. Ash cupped Eiji’s cheeks, his hands cool against Eiji’s skin as Eiji felt himself relax into Ash’s touch. He never wanted this to end. Ash’s tongue was warm and insistent, his fingers winding their way into Eiji’s hair. Eiji met him with the same fervour, this time pressing his own tongue into Ash’s mouth as he let out a quiet groan. Thank god everyone was too loud and drunk to hear. 

It was endless. The fireworks had started to go off, the explosions punctuated by excited screams - mostly coming from Yut-Lung - and laughter. At some point, Eiji finally broke the kiss, not out of embarrassment, but only because his lungs were screaming for oxygen. 

Ash’s hands remained on Eiji’s cheeks a few more moments, and Eiji placed his hands over Ash’s own. They were brought back to reality by an argument between Yut-Lung and Sing. 

“I can’t believe you would rather shoot some stupid fireworks rather than kiss me at midnight! What did I do to deserve this?!” 

“But Yue…” Sing stuttered, his hands raised in surrender. “I just… I wanted to offer you an unforgettable show.” Sing’s arms dropped to his sides, his eyes misty and defeated. “I didn’t want you to regret coming tonight. I wanted to impress you.” 

Yue snorted. “Then kiss me, you idiot!!!”

Without concert, Eiji and Ash both turned away, ignoring the heated aftermath of their friends’ domestic quarrel and focused on the fireworks. Eiji’s camera was hanging around his neck, hidden under his scarf to protect it from the snow - but this time, he didn’t want to take any pictures. He just wanted to enjoy the moment, his body leaning against Ash’s own, the snowflakes melting on the tip of his nose as the fireworks coloured the inky black sky. 

It was an unforgettable show, indeed. 

“Ahhhh this was absolutely amazing! I can’t wait for the Chinese New Year!” Shorter exclaimed once they ran out of stock. He stood admiring his work, both fists on his hips while his chest puffed out like a rooster. To say he looked pleased with himself was an understatement. Suddenly, he turned to Eiji and Ash, and called out to them “Hey, lovebirds! How about the photographer gets photographed, for once?” 

Eiji looked at Shorter, incredulous. He was good at taking pictures. But being in front of the camera? Not so much. 

“Good idea!” Ash said, putting his arm around Eiji’s shoulder. 

“Strike a pose!” Shorter exclaimed, contorting into an awkward shape and furiously snapping photos on his phone.

“Ash, I’m not sure that…” Eiji mumbled.

“Smile, Eiji,” Ash whispered back. 

After a few seconds, Shorter let out a thoughtful “mmmh…” while scrolling through his gallery. He didn’t look very happy with the results. “You look uncomfortable as hell, Eiji,” he stated. “There’s no way I can sell this to _Vogue_.”

“Well that’s because I am uncomfortable,” Eiji grumbled, softening as the low rumble of Ash’s laugh vibrated against his body. Ash loosened his grip on Eiji’s shoulder and leaned forward.

“Eiji,” he whispered, his breath tickling Eiji’s ear.

“What?” Eiji replied, turning his head to see Ash’s face. 

“LOOK OVER HERE! PERFECT!” Shorter yelled, making Ash look up and Eiji slightly turn his head. “That’s a wrap!” 

“But-!”

“No buts. Photo looks lit. You can thank me later.” 

What a cunning pineapple head this man was. 

  
  


* * *

Every nerve in Ash’s body was restless, wired with an impatient energy that was threatening to boil over. The sound of his nervous fingers drumming against the wood of Max’s desk did little to ground him as he glanced at the clock for the tenth time that minute.

_I’m running out of time._

“Ash, are you listening to me?” Max’s voice sounded distant. Ash forced himself to listen. “Hey kiddo, this is really important. You have to pay attention. I know it’s boring, and you have other things on your mind right now, but we have to go through it together.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Ash replied, eyes darting to the clock once again. Eiji’s flight would take off in less than two hours. He was probably going through the security check as they spoke. 

An image flashed in Ash’s mind of a wall plastered with photographs and polaroids of he and Eiji together - dates, birthdays, special events; it was everything he longed for, and he was so close to getting it. He glanced at his phone screen, which displayed the picture of Eiji and himself that Shorter had taken on New Year’s Eve. At that moment, Ash knew he’d made the right decision. 

While the nasty voice inside of him raised the possibility of Eiji not wanting Ash to follow him to Japan, Ash pushed his doubts aside and knew that this was a chance that he simply had to take. He thought back to the Christmas they shared together at Cape Cod, and the last few days where they practically lived together. Nothing had ever felt so _right._ If Eiji felt even a quarter of what Ash felt for him, there would be very little chance of him pushing Ash away.

“So,” Max continued. “I was thinking…we should set at least one weekly Skype meeting. It’s going to be fucking hell considering our timezones, but we’ll make it work. We can set it at 8am New York’s time - I’m an early riser anyway so I’ll be at the office...which makes it 7pm for you Tokyo time, does that sound good? Better me in the morning than you, right?! How about every Wednesday?”

“Wednesday, 7pm for me. Got it.”

“The company will be paying for your plane tickets when we need you to come here - the board wanted a monthly mandatory meeting at first, but I made them understand that it was too much to ask of you. Not to mention that it would completely ruin us…” Max smiled apologetically and Ash shifted in his seat. “Japan, huh? I wish you’d found a lover in Virginia or something. But love is love!” Ash didn’t answer, and startled as Max’s booming laughter filled the office. “I see that your mind is already away with him, there's no turning back now! Do you speak a little Japanese, at least?”

“Eiji taught me some basics,” he replied. “And I remember some stuff from the anime I watched as a kid, like… _dattebayo_.” 

Max rubbed his temples. “I actually feel kind of sorry for Eiji…the poor kid, he really has no idea what he got himself into with you.” 

“I promise not to quote _Naruto_ unless absolutely necessary,” Ash smirked, but his chest was beginning to feel tight. He took one last look around Max’s office. The heavy wooden desk. The pictures of his family. The cactus that had been 98% dead for years but was somehow still alive.

“Come on, time for you to go. You don’t want to miss your flight!” Max chuckled, but failed to disguise the sadness in his eyes. He took a step forward, opened his arms, and without further ceremony, Ash hugged him. It was a hug that said ‘good luck’, ‘I believe in you’ and ‘I’ll miss you’ all at the same time. It wasn’t a farewell, but Ash could still feel an unusual lump rising in the back of his throat. He was diving into the unknown, after all. Max would still have his back, but from far away. 

“Oh, I almost forgot! Michael asked me to give you this,” Max handed Ash a drawing representing his son waving at a plane. Michael had drawn an arrow pointing towards the plane and had written ‘ASH.’ The lump in Ash’s throat suddenly got even bigger. 

“Thanks, Max. For… everything.”

“Yeah, yeah, stop it, you’re gonna make me cry! I’ll see you soon anyway. Get ready for the board to fry your ass if you don't deliver your manuscript by the end of February as promised! Now, shoo!! And don’t forget your luggage.” 

Just as Max pushed Ash and his huge suitcase in the elevator, Ash’s phone buzzed. 

**To:** Ash   
**From:** Shorter   
_Fuck the police I’m in a no stopping zone. But hurry your ass up pleaseeeeee_

Shorter jumped as Ash flung open the trunk of the car, shoving his luggage inside before diving into the passenger seat. 

“You’re so late, I was about to drag you out of the building,” Shorter commented as he veered into a lane of traffic, earning several angry shouts and honks that he ignored. “Are you tryin’ to play with fire or something?!” 

Ash sighed, feeling himself relax. “You know Max, once he starts talking, it’s impossible to make him stop.”

“Pretty sure the old man just wanted to keep you close to him as long as possible,” Shorter laughed. “I might do the same,” he then added a few seconds later. 

Both of them fell silent. Ash knew this was a show of affection in his best friend’s language. His heart sank slightly. 

“I told Max I’ll be back often, so don’t worry. And, you know… I’m not planning to stop annoying you anytime soon. Being in another country won’t stop me,” Ash teased.

“I’ll take your word for it, you do manage to drive me nuts from wherever you are,” Shorter chuckled. As they stopped at a red light, his expression turned contemplative. “Seriously, though. I’m happy for you. Ever since Griff passed away you- Man, I’m not good at this kind of talk!” Shorter whined and despite the subject being serious, Ash couldn’t help but smile at his best friend’s efforts. “I don’t know, you had this look in your eyes sometimes. An empty look. You gave me the creeps to be honest!”

“Yeah,” Ash commented, a sad smile still on his lips. “My brother shouldn’t have died for such a shitty country. Sometimes I just find it unfair.”

“Yeah, I know.” Shorter replied. “But it was scaring me, seeing you like this. Throwing yourself into work and writing to keep you distracted... I mean, it’s been what? Almost four years now?”

Ash nodded. 

“Well, the only thing I know is that since Eiji came around, you got back to your usual self. Not gonna lie though, you still give me the creeps sometimes, but at least you don’t have that empty look on your face,” Shorter grinned, obviously relieved. 

“Thanks, Shorter. For always having my back.” Ash didn’t know what else to say - words weren’t enough to express his gratitude towards his best friend. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna end up bald with all the worrying I do about you,” Shorter complained. Ash shot him a sideways glance. “Look, I’m such a great friend that we made it to the airport in 27 minutes instead of 40! Pretty sure we just traveled through time, not that I’m one to brag.”

“If you get a fine, I won’t pay it,” Ash warned, to which Shorter chuckled. 

They parted ways in front of the airport, Ash drawing Shorter into a tight embrace, all the while teasing each other as though they were going to meet each other for dinner at Chang Dai that very night. They both knew it wasn’t goodbye, more of an ‘I’ll see you soon’. 

Once inside the airport, Ash’s heart hammered out of control. He pushed through stagnant crowds of people, running towards the counter to check in and drop his luggage. He didn’t dare glance at his watch, because he knew that time wasn’t on his side. Ash only stopped when a familiar voice called him out. 

“Ash! Hey, Ash! What are you doing? Eiji went through security almost half an hour ago, y’know?!” 

It was Sing, heading out of the airport.

“Wait,” Sing said, frowning and looking at Ash’s luggage. “What the fuck?!”

Ash swallowed, glancing around frantically to find his gate. “Hey, Sing. As you can see I’m quite in a rush, so I have to-”

“Are you leaving _with_ him?!” Sing’s eyes were so round that they looked like two flying saucers. “Does he know? He doesn’t, right?! Fuck he’s gonna have a heart attack! But what about your career?!”

Ash really didn’t have the time to be interrogated. 

“Yes I’m leaving with Eiji, no he has no idea - and my career’s gonna be just fine, I can literally write from any place. As long as I’m with Eiji.”

Sing remained silent for a few seconds, mulling over what Ash had just blurted out in his stress-induced fervour. Ash grabbed the handle of his suitcase again, because he really, _really_ had to get moving. 

“Then hurry the fuck up!” Sing exclaimed. “They’re closing the gates in 25 minutes, you have to make a run for it or else you won’t get through security!”

Fuck that. Ash was already there now. He was doing it. This was happening. He would get on that plane. 

He winked at Sing and ran towards the check-in counter, passport in hand. 

  
  


* * * ****  
  


Eiji glanced at his phone for quite possibly the 100th time within the last ten minutes. No text from Ash. No missed calls. Not even a voice message. Maybe his meeting had dragged on - it wouldn’t be a surprise, considering the importance of it. 

Eiji sighed. Not saying goodbye was already painful, but for some reason, not having any news from Ash before taking off felt almost unbearable. 

He tried to swallow, but he felt like he’d just gargled gravel. Eiji shouldn’t cry, he was an adult after all, and this wasn’t a permanent farewell, was it? Even still, the lump in his throat just wouldn’t go away. Eiji closed his eyes and tightened the grip on his phone. 

_It’s okay. I’m okay. We’ll make this work. He said he would visit, and I’ll come to New York again, too. Everything’s gonna…_

“I think you’re in my seat.”

Eiji’s heart stopped as he looked up. His phone fell into his lap, then clattered to the floor as he jumped to his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading our fic, we had an absolute blast writing together and hope you enjoyed it! We poured our hearts and souls into this story, and are so thankful that it has already received such a warm response! Stay safe, take care of yourselves, and keep an eye on us both for more Banana Fish content soon!


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